ADHD and trouble relaxing

[dandyma]

Anyone else have trouble relaxing?

I can't sit still. Not in a hyperactive way that I have to be running about etc. but I just feel this internal sense of pending doom and anxiety if I... sit and do nothing. I can't do it

It makes me restless. I want to enjoy just sitting down and it doesn't work for me. And then I get anxious about how much time is going by but I don't know how to snap out of it. It's like I'm stuck in this glue and can't move when I know I need to or want to, and then there's a lot of guilt that results from that

I can do a task 500 times but I still can't estimate accidentally how much time I need. Same goes for example doing make up. Same thing every day, step by step. Couldn't tell you how long it takes as I have no time management. I am always always late and it's horrific, bringing with it a lot of guilt and self hatred in the moment (despite having high self esteem generally). I often over compensate by being very early.

I don't have an ADHD diagnosis. My son has severe autism with adhd. He is profoundly disabled. His ADHD causes extreme hyperactivity but for me, everything I've read about ADHD is textbook me. It's like the book is written about me

Have you considered going for diagnosis?
The waiting list where I live is only about 18 months. You will be able to trial one of the medications then.

@dandyma The first half of your post rang bells with me. That's exactly how I am. I used to think I was just lazy in not feeling able to either get on and do things that desperately need doing, or alternatively just enjoy relaxing, and that the accompanying guilt was deserved. Now I'm not so sure as it really is a feeling that I can't get myself to do things, though once I eventually start it usually gets easier. I've had a lifetime of various mental health problems, but am increasingly thinking that neurodiversity may underlie many of my difficulties. Been on MN a while but only came across this ND section today... phew.

I can do a task 500 times but I still can't estimate accidentally how much time I need. Same goes for example doing make up. Same thing every day, step by step. Couldn't tell you how long it takes as I have no time management. I am always always late and it's horrific, bringing with it a lot of guilt and self hatred in the moment (despite having high self esteem generally). I often over compensate by being very early.

This rings true for me, an ADHD symptom I believe, I cannot grasp time at all. You can look up 'time blindness'.