Struggles at work

[MumofOne1789]

I’m undiagnosed but strongly believe I have ASD. I struggle with the social pressures at work so much. I try not to let it get me down.

The cleaner (gossip type) comes into my office and tells me what others say about me. People ask her why I won’t talk to them or say I’m too quiet etc etc also ask her to tell me I need to start talking to them, they won’t bite etc.

I keep to myself and do my work. I honestly don’t know what to say to people and can’t do banter/small talk.

I feel like I’m singled out by a group in the office up the corridor and the cleaner let’s mw know about it. Not even in private. She basically tells me and the whole corridor can hear. I know I’m making assumptions and they might actually be just making comments with no bad intention but I get the feeling it’s almost bullying/gossiping about me as I’m different to them. I’m just very quiet.

Anyone else struggle with this?

Wow that cleaner sounds horrible. I wouldn't listen to her gossip OP, if you are happy, your managers are happy and the other are in a different office crack on. If there is an issue I'm sure the manager would let you know. Office dynamics are hard enough.

In my experience second hand comments are always twisted or taken out of context, intentionally or not.

I don’t think she genuinely has any bad intention. More that she just doesn’t think and lack of awareness maybe. She does love to gossip about people though but I’m sure she wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings. I think she’s just oblivious and is quite loud.

Manager never mentions an issue really with regards to work output but does mention about networking more for my own benefit and progression in the company which is fair enough. He only mentions this in the yearly review though, I think he recognises people have strengths and weaknesses.

its just upsetting when you’re singled out for being quiet and knowing people are talking about me. I’ve been self conscious my whole life about being ‘too quiet’ so it’s my trigger

I'm sorry you're going through this. I used to hate working in an office. I remember my manager pulling me for a meeting once to ask me why I don't 'gossip' with other staff.
Saying I was too quiet and needed to interact more. He said he couldn't understand why I was doing my work while others were talking and that I really didn't fit in.
Is there anyone at work who you feel comfortable with and get on with?

Wow if my manager said that to me, I would just leave. It’s been said to me in the past and I’ve left the company after.

my current manager is a lot more understanding and only says things in a way that would help my career, not in a personal way.

There are some people but the company of large and they work in different buildings/adjacent site.

My office at the moment and corridor, I actually don’t feel comfortable with anyone, obviously making me appear more quiet :( a few people are nice and make effort to talk to me though.