49 but I seem very 'young'

[MerryMarigold]

Can anyone relate to this? Got me thinking the other day when DD (14) said she was mature than me! It was a nice conversation, we were out and about, she wasn't saying it to get at me. I asked if she thought the same about her Dad and she said no (even though she's much closer to me). I then remembered how in my first proper job after Uni, I found my interview notes and my direct boss had written very "young" (she clearly didn't mean age as we were all uni graduates). Also how even as a teenager people would think my sister was the older sister (She's nearly 3 years younger), because she came across as more grounded and 'mature'. Is this a 'thing' with ND people? Any particular type?

I’m very “young”. At the playground I go on the swings and play in the sand pit with DS while the other mums sit gossiping or looking at their phones. I cry easily and get very emotional about sad stories. I have a childlike fascination with leaves and bugs. I don’t really notice or care if I’m covered in mud. I kick piles of leaves. I remember MIL was horrified to see me and the kids having a cherry stone spitting competition across the street on the way to visit her. I can’t resist sliding in the snow or on a shiny floor. If nobody is watching I will ride on my shopping trolley. I have no idea if this is related to autism or if it’s just me?

Yep. Autistic. We often appear younger.

PS: Cherry stone spitting competition sounds just my thing!

46, also menopausal, and I feel like I will never reach peak adult. Yes, I look like one, but my operating system is that of an anxious pre-teen. Too many tearful meltdowns this week, and feeling a need to take to my bed and shut the world out.

Yes, I'm immature and naive at times. I look younger than I am, but I think that's aided by being petite.

I remember for my son's 7th birthday I had a frozen pea spitting competition in our kitchen/ diner which was a very long room. The other mums looked on aghast, but the kids thought it was awesome!

Thank you all. I feel better I'm not alone. I tried to do some internet research but there didn't seem to be a lot to do with neurodiversity. It seemed to be more related to trauma.

I have been meaning to start a thread about this for ages! I think I seemed older when I was a child, but now I am in my early 40s I think I come across as younger.

I think this is partly because I didn't get my professional qualification until I was in my early 30s (so I am quite old for my level of qualification) and partly because I am disorganised and a bit chaotic (ADHD) - which people associate with being younger. I also come across as naive because I expect people to follow the rules or miss nuances / social cues (ASD).

I do this too! Partly because my DS is not able to play independently because of his own SEND and partly because it is more fun for me!

I've always presented as younger than my chronological age.

I always played with younger kids.

Most boyfriends before dp were younger than me.

I have young interests/ hobbies.

My teens are more mature than me.

I'm 44 but feel about 5, I just found a "thats not my reindeer book in the charity shop and I got it for myself,, I love lego, plushies, toys, bright colours clothes , I don't care it makes me happy, I have ASD and ADHD

Yes. Women my own age — friends, classmates, tutors, healthcare professionals, whatever — seem to occasionally have the instinct to act protective and motherly towards me, as though I'm perhaps twenty years younger than I am. I don't solicit it or anything, it just seems to come out naturally for them. I don't want or intend or try to seem young or vulnerable or in need of mothering 😒 I'd like to come across as sophisticated and mature. But something about me seems to say to them, "Make sure she doesn't cross the road without looking!"

Than you everyone. @carcaroleanboneparte are you diagnosed with anything? I'm interested because I'm not (yet).

Yes ASD.

Been fairly obvious all my life but no one was diagnosing girls/women when I was young.

People often seem 'protective' of me and I know that sometimes they're surprised by my age. Less so now because of physical disability. If anything I probably seem 20 years older on bad days!

I don't think it did me any favours in the workplace - I was never focused enough to rise up the ranks. Working for myself helped a lot.

I think ADHD can give quite a playful sense of humour plus a certain unguarded frankness at times. This either appeals to people or repels them in my experience.

Yes same here (47 adhd), I think I benefited from taking a couple of gap years before I went to uni and I was still less sensible and grown up than people younger than me. I see women around me and am often in awe of how adult and grown up they dress, talk and act. If I try to do the same I feel like I'm playing dress up. I have a snr job and manage people all over the world and still feel like a teenager half the time.

Me too, adhd. Probably seemed quite immature in relation to my peers in childhood and teens which is part of adhd. Even as an adult I feel so young, and even look y

whoops -

look younger than I am. I'm very emotional, and playful I suppose? Keep waiting to feel like an adult and people my age seem so old in their ways to me. I definitely think it's linked to my adhd. Trying to accept it now.

Yes, I'm 43 and very 'young'.
I have teddies, wear colourful clothing with characters on, I have a pink backpack with teddies on.
I love Disney, Anime, kawaii etc

I do have some grown up special interests such as local history but I did that as a child too.