Gift receiving / trick or treating treating

[RiverSong200]

My DD is not quite in the trick or treat stage (thank god!) but the whole thing of knocking on doors and asking for sweets makes me cringe. I hate answering the door too and tend to leave a bowl out. Funny thing is I don't have any problem with giving kids sweets at Halloween, just can't bring myself to do it with DD when she's older. DH (NT) thinks I'm miserable, and said he will be taking DD out when she's older - fine just don't involve me can be a daddy daughter thing. When talking to my own family (who are mainly ND a mix of autism and ADHD or both) they all agree and find it cringe. Just wondering if this is a common theme or just us as a family?

It's the same with gift giving. We all have strict rules on my side, kids all get a present. Grownups do not. I like it this way, I can spend that money on petrol to see my family or have a nice day out with them. If I want something as an adult I can save and buy it myself. I even insist on having a date for my birthday with DH instead of gifts. But DH side buy for everyone, aunts, uncles, cousins everyone! And it's just tat. They always ask what I want and I find it really embarrassing so just ask for chocolates or bubble bath (something I can use).

I know It doesn't really matter if it's a ND thing or a family thing, I love my family and our ND ways. Just musing really.

I get you. I was so happy no one knocked on our door last Monday. Presents are just for my 3dc and my mum and godparents. No one buys for me except mum and the dc and actually I buy them and they wrap them. It's so stressful. If there's anything I don't know about I feel very anxious. It's not miserable, it's being autistic

Missing the point completely, but your NT husband calls you miserable just because you don't want to drag your child around to neighbouring houses begging for sweets?

I would DIE if I had to take someone 'trick or treating'.

Everything in your post that you do sounds perfectly normal to me. The things your husband does, including calling you miserable, not normal. To me anyway. But, being autistic I'll never be, or want to be, NT 😂

😂 don't worry DH is a good bloke, he doesn't genuinely think I'm miserable. We're just on different wavelengths sometimes and both learn from each other.

The gift giving thing though, I have NT friends who do this too. They insist on giving gifts even when I say it's not necessary, but then I'm the rude/ungrateful one for saying that (yes a friend has said this to me before - I'm a bit of a Rachel from friends and exchange material gifts but keep the things that matter like a bar mat from mine and DH first date). In the past I suggested secret Santa that went down quite well 😂.

I think the gift giving of 'tat' is an NT thing. They, in my experience, just buy gifts for the sake of it. I view those types of gifts as waste and have been known to a) hand them back and/or b) take them to the local charity shop 😳

Oooo I hate tat!!! Christmas decs/Halloween decs/Easter decs 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I try to get a few nice pieces which will late years and years rather than a horrible plastic "happy birthday" bunting which will go into land fill!!

I have found some really nice material bunting on Etsy which now comes out for birthdays every year 😂😂.

What did they say when you gave them back 😂. I'd love to have that courage!

The time that springs to mind - I was given gifts a load of crap from the Boots No 7 range, all stuff that giver liked and that I do not.

On handing it all back, I said along the lines of - I think you purchased this for yourself and have gifted it to me by accident. Her face was crimson with embarrassment, and she later apologised for being so thoughtless.

I'd like to say - 'here, have your shit present back as I have no use for it' 😂

Oh no! I hate number 7, I find it really thick and sticky if that makes sense? Very dense stuff. I've definitely had a few re-gifts like that, I think a lot of people (NT and ND) keep them in sets and pass them about. What's the point?