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3 replies

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 31/10/2022 14:53

I had bulimia and an exercise compulsion as a teenager, binge eating, throwing up, running. Stopped it when I got ill with a virus and was v sick for a few months.

25 years on and I binge eat a lot (common with adhd i believe) and v occasionally purge as a stress reaction. Just lately my life has been less stressful than it has in years. I'm settled in a job, settled in a new house, settled in a lovely newish relationship, but I have started purging almost daily. I put on weight over the house move so started calorie watching and now it seems to have kicked off this need to purge, to the point t where it gives me the same kind of sensory relief as a tight hug or exercise. I'm too tired to exercise, but the vomiting helps. But I know this isn't a healthy response and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my DP or a healthcare person because then I'll have to stop, and I don't really want to, but at the same time I'm looking at myself from the outside and tutting.

I'm very divided. What should I do? Be nice, please. I don't know how else to get what I need currently

OP posts:

Whatsleftnow · 01/11/2022 13:01

Can you imagine yourself getting to a point where you would be drawn to a different type of sensory satisfaction that would feel much better than purging, and have no negative feelings attached to it?

I can understand why you don’t want to stop because that’s giving up something that is working well for you on some levels.

I don’t know much about the supports available but it sounds like you need someone who will start with you where you’re at.

I read recently that adhd is a performance disorder not a knowledge deficiency - we know why we should do whatever it is, but we still can’t do it. You don’t need tutting, or horror or judgement. So if you do reach out for help you’re going to need someone who is adhd informed and not approaching this from an NT perspective.


ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 01/11/2022 14:54

Thank you for such a kind and thoughtful post. I have horrific pmt at the moment and I know this is making everything worse. I just feel so overwhelmed and sad but desperately going out will pass soon

OP posts:

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 01/11/2022 14:56

*desperately hoping it will pass soon

OP posts:
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