Best steps with my 7 year old

[Sunshine847]

hi everyone,

Looking for some help and support as to how I can best support my son, I’ll give some background and appreciate any suggestions of next steps.

My son is 7 and started year 3 in September. In infant school he had CAMS support, nurture group and one on one weekly session.

he does not have any ASN diagnosis.

He has always struggled in certain situations and had a distrupted reception and year 1 (so took a while to identify patterns). He had some difficult melt downs including self harming by bashing his head on the carpet and led to a social services referral which I found very helpful. Then this led to the help mentioned above from the infant school.

His year two teacher was just amazing and had 20 years experience with children with ASN and he was a different child most of the time.

Since July to date we have had escalating melt downs and he has to have support from the school with a trained staff team to go to school in the morning. When I think we are turning a corner it all goes backwards. He is exceptionally bright (I have 3 other children who are older and also do very well but as I know some of you will understand this is different and a fact in his school work/full marks sats etc). He can manipulate his teachers and us at times. It is very disconcerting. Sometimes I think I imagine it all…

But his meltdowns are escalating, he looses control, going on holiday this week he lost control the first day and was violent with me for the first time and a danger to himself. It has really worried me.

I could go into detail of over stimulation, smells etc causing meltdowns but I want to try and get to my point (if your able to still be reading)

the school have said they’ll refer him for a diagnosis, but wait lists are yeses long. They told us not to go private…all I really want is to be able to support him, keep him safe and be able to do this in his melt downs as he gets bigger and stronger. I need to know how best to support him and ensure his needs are met.

should I push for a referral? Should I go private? Is a formal diagnosis critical for him? Are there other means I can get him and i, the information and support we need?

I have a very supportive DH but my son loves me in a very intense way meaning if we are together as a family it has to be me with him at all times…

just really seeking support, I’m lost and in all honesty broken, thanks

Hello there, this was posted a few days ago so not sure if you'll check back. It would probably get more traffic in the sen section but one thing that i would day having been through everything you're going through is definitely get a private diagnosis and pronto but check that the centre you use is local authority approved. Get it done or you'll have years of this. Get started with getting an ehcp, and start looking at local sen schools just in case. We've had years of this but having a diagnosis at 3 and an echp at 5 means we're much better supported than we would have been otherwise. If you do come back I have many more suggestions !

Hi

thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Since posting I have managed to arrange a meeting with the school at the end of the month with the senco team, which is a good step but it’s such a big school I really worry.

Is there a good way to find if a private clinic is recognised by the local authority? I want to make sure I find the right place as you have suggested.

Many thanks again