ASD and anti-depressants

[Megmargs]

I’m autistic, and depressed. I logically know what I should do to help myself, but I’m in survival mode and exhausted and just can’t right now.
I’m extremely reluctant to start anti-depressants - I know they’re essentially masking a larger problem, have tried them before and it made me worse, I know that tapering off them is hard etc. But I figured there’s no harm in asking for people’s experiences of them, I’ll have more information with which to make a decision.

I previously tried fluoxetine and that didn’t work for me. However at the time I did not know I was autistic and looking back it was definitely burnout rather than depression. This time I’m fairly certain it isn’t burnout, but I do think it’s autism related. For example I’m very lonely and have no friends - anti-depressants will not solve that problem, but I’m wondering if they might just give me enough energy to get myself out and about and doing stuff where I could potentially meet some.

So my questions are:

• if you’re autistic, have anti-depressants worked for you?
• what effect did they have, how did you feel different on them?
• which anti-depressant(s) have you tried?

I also appreciate any tips for dragging yourself up from rock bottom which might not involve medication.
Thank you! 😊

I'm doing well on escitalopram, but I am also ADHD and started in Elvanse at the same time.

It can be very depressing being ND in a NT world! Personally I think it helps to understand / accept that we are different and think about what you need that is missing eg more self-care, more / less social context, more / less sensory stimulation. Do you have a special interest that might help with making connections?

All the best to you

Hi @AshGirl thanks for your response!
yes I’ve worked very hard on understanding my needs and doing things to support myself. Unfortunately I think working, even though it’s part time, is particularly draining and there’s not much I can do about that. I do live my job but there’s a big social and sensory aspect to it which is tiring. I also don’t currently have a special interest so I think that’s also making me feel a bit low to be honest. Hopefully something new will come along soon that I can get stuck into!

Love my job not live!

if you’re autistic, have anti-depressants worked for you?

I am autistic (diagnosed). AD's have not worked for me.

what effect did they have, how did you feel different on them?

Various side effects ranging from developing facial tics, uncontrollable constant tremors to whole body, feeling suicidal and making plans to end my life, brain fog to the point of not even knowing my own name, slurred speech, numbness to various parts of body, migraine, inability to urinate (requiring medical intervention), constipation, upset stomach/constant nausea/vomiting, mood swings, loss of emotion, insomnia and or sleeping too much depending on the medication, increased anxiety, dizziness, confusion, blurred vision. I could add more side effects!

I felt different on AD's; never, ever in a good way.

which anti-depressant(s) have you tried?

In no particular order - Prozac, Sertratline, Citalopram, Amitriptyline, Duloxetine, Venlafaxine, Trazodone, Paroxetine. Those are the ones I can remember. There's probably more.

I also appreciate any tips for dragging yourself up from rock bottom which might not involve medication.

The things that I found beneficial - therapy, mindfulness, physical exercise/going out for daily walk, setting myself small achievable targets.

I have spoken with several people, including medical professionals and my autism support network, about the side effects of 'mind altering' drugs on me and most have said that AD's can have the reverse effect on ND people.

I have recently started to read this book and after reading the first couple of chapters, I know I will never, ever take AD's again : www.amazon.co.uk/Sexy-But-Psycho-Patriarchy-Against/dp/1472135490

@Clarice99 thank you for your reply, that’s very interesting and I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a horrible experience. May I ask what your autism support network is? (In person/online?) The autism “service” here never replies to emails which is ridiculous considering many of us hate the phone!

My own experience from just trying one antidepressant was really negative too, and I know people say try different ones until you find what works for you but last time I got so much worse that my suicidal ideation turned into me wondering in each situation what I could do to hurt myself and it was scary. I live alone and don’t want to go through that again.

I’ve got some time off work for the next week so I’m really going to try and get a routine established to help myself that I can hopefully continue when I go back. I already meditate daily. I’m going to focus on making sure I’m hydrated, fed, well rested. I’ve also set myself the target of moving every day as I know from the past that exercise does really help me, but I’m not going in hard with it because I also know that doesn’t end up working.

My autism support consists of:

Autism mentor funded by Access to Work (face to face meetings, emails, text messages, online meetings).

A group of autistic employees (I work for the local authority) - email contact and via MS Teams. We used to have face to face meetings too pre-pandemic.
Autistic women's group - face to face meetings (I don't attend the meetings via Zoom).

Sounds like a good plan to get some routine established. I find when my routine goes awry, so do I. I function much better when I have structure and clear goals. I might not always achieve them, but now I've accepted myself, when I don't achieve, it's not the end of the world 😀

@Clarice99 wow I had no idea about Access to Work - looking into it now!

If you have any queries about ATW, feel free to message me.

I have various 'reasonable adjustments' which I'd be happy to divulge via private message.

I am aware that ATW have a backlog of people awaiting assessment, so there's no harm in requesting an assessment today/tomorrow/asap as it's likely you'll have to wait around 12 weeks anyway.