Do you struggle with Christmas 'magic'?

[AshGirl]

I find the whole thing confusing! I don't have my own childhood experiences to draw from as I was brought up in a very religious household (different kind of 'magic man'!). We are not religious at all, but don't want DS to miss out on the 'magic of Christmas' - I mean, I don't find it very magical but NTs seem obsessed with it!

DS is 5.5 and has SEND, though probably not ASD. He is very interested in presents, but connects these more with the post man than Father Christmas!

I don't know where to start and the idea of telling him something which isn't true is just weird to me! (Not because I am precious, just because I find lying and storytelling difficult because of my ND)

Can anyone else sympathise or offer help / tips?

I can identify with this. Our kids are older now. We never told them Santa WASN'T real, we just didn't really mention him. We did stockings (still do) with little gifts like sweeties, puzzles and toy cars, but we never said they were from Santa. The main presents were under the tree and were clearly from us. Our focus was on family, food, guests, fun and spending quality time with them.

We even took them to see Santa a couple of times, but we never said "Santa's coming" or anything that was a lie.

Christmas magic doesn't have to mean believing in Santa. Light and decorations and Christmasy things to visit are good.

Thanks for this - I'm much more comfortable with this approach. DS already struggles when he can't go somewhere fictional that he has seen on TV. I try to play along and talk about what he would do if he want to eg Numberland to Meet the Numberblocks but if he insists that he wants to go and starts to get upset then I feel I have to explain that it's not a real place that we can go! Very stressful all round!

Definitely! I like all those things, and we are already booked to go to the theatre in London in December so we can see the lights there

I really like the idea of Christmas, but in reality, it's just shit and the day is anticlimactic. I want to know how to find this Christmas magic everyone speaks of.

Were your parents Jehovah's Witnesses, op? Mine are so I don't have any childhood experiences to draw from either.

I told my kids about Father Christmas, but that it was a fun thing to pretend is real. I also told them that it was not kind to tell other children that he was not real as they might be upset. We did all the writing to him and posting the letters, and hanging stockings ect.

I did this because I felt uncomfortable lying to my children, and also remember how upset I was when I found out Father Christmas was not real. I really felt betrayed. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Anyway, my adult NT children now tell me that I ruined Christmas for them and I should have allowed them to believe like other kids. My 2 grandchildren are both believers in Father Christmas, and do all the ridiculous elf on the shelf (creepy little fucker) stuff as well. Oh and the bloody tooth fairy. I just keep my mouth shut.

So whatever you decide to do I suspect that you will find out that a mothers place is firmly in the wrong.

I was brought up in a Christian evangelical church, so while we celebrated Christmas and had presents there was never really any mention of Father Christmas. All Christmas traditions were strictly religious! I don't remember ever believing that FC was real

I also went to an Evangelical church as a child OP! It wasn't a particularly strict one though, I remember Santa coming to the Sunday School Christmas party every year.

(Incidently, did you refer to church as "The Meeting"?)

I have very fond memories of Christmas as a child; Carol services, nativity plays, making gift tags out of last year's Christmas cards, going into town to see the Christmas lights, parties etc.

It doesn't have to be about Santa.

We make Christmas 'magic' focus on special time together and little outings in the Christmas holidays.