Autism or normal struggles

[LivingMyBestLie]

How do you know the difference between feeling socially awkward, insecure, depressed etc, and having autism?

I feel like a fraud a lot. I struggle socialising and when I do I feel like I'm rehearsing a script, saying the things I 'should' say. I struggle beyond small talk and definitely struggle to build connections.

I don't like most people. That's not true, I just can't relate to them which makes me pick holes in their character and reject them. The only exceptions are my family although I do stuggle not to judge them too.

I feel down a lot. A failure and unsure of where I fit in. It feels like I'm constantly going through a bad patch.

I tried to explain to my long term partner how I feel and the best I could come up with was 'I feel like I'm in a bubble, but my mind is outside looking in, as is everyone else'.

I pick my nails, skin, lips and pull hair out. I struggle socially and am very sincere. I need my own time. For these reasons and more I feel I could have autism (I also think my dad and brother have it but no diagnoses).

But I also think it's possible I don't have a diagnosis and I'm just awkward/anxious etc.

So back to the original question, how do you know the difference between feeling socially awkward, insecure, depressed etc, and having autism?

Thank you!

that is interesting op I sorry I not know the answer.
I might be bit different I do not really feel socially awkward or depressed or insecure etc
I do have my moments for sure but generally I am quite a “sunny” person always see the best in everyone
I am diagnosed autism but not like lots of people I am quite smiley and always happy to see people I know
I can get very stuck verbally sometimes so everyone I know also knows I use cards to help me communicate and they are used to me repeating them etc I can find that frustrating not being able to communicate but it is what it is
I might say though although I would not describe myself as socially awkward probably everyone I have ever spoken to would describe me as that!
hopefully someone more helpful will come along and help you with you question sorry if I not much help

Sounds normal to me.. for this board

@LivingMyBestLie I can relate to a lot of what you've said. I couldn't cope with the whole Covid thing and ended up going on antidepressants. I then realised how anxious I'd been and have reflected on a lot of difficulties in my younger self.

I can now think more clearly but still struggle with fitting in, trying to be normal and coping with the social stuff. I'm new to this board but have found it helpful to see similarities with others.

It's hard isn't it. I think, for me, it's become more apparent as I've gotten older. I have young children so am thrown into the world of mum friends, parties etc which I find hard and isolating. I've always felt like an outsider, even though at school I had best friends etc.

Life is also much more chaotic and busy with little ones and I struggle with that too. I adore my children but I'm always searching for time alone and feel like I'm living for the evenings when I get it.

I wish I could embrace life more, be content and live in the moment, but I'm really struggling to be honest.

Have the antidepressants helped? I've been reluctant to have medication for it as I feel like it's a plaster and I might become dependent. If I don't find the route cause, will I ever be able to come off the medication? Maybe that's silly though!

Thank you for sharing your experience 🙂

Have you done research into autism?

Sounds like you are running off scripts and then getting stuck.

I carry secret 'conversation cards' that I sneak off and look at in the loo so that I can come back and ask people questions about a topic.

I made the cards myself... nothing fancy just a bunch of notes with general topics to talk about and questions to ask people. My current scripted topics are pets (people love telling you about their pets!) and books (you can get people to tell you the plot of the book they are reading).

I've been asking the same questions to different people for months at work and now people come up to me to tell me things about dogs, which is my 'special interest' topic. So now I can reply and talk and look 'social'.

How do you know the difference between feeling socially awkward, insecure, depressed etc, and having autism?

My diagnosis. Without that, it was just my opinion.

@LivingMyBestLie
Going on antidepressants is one of the best things I've ever done! I often had low mood and anxiety but thought that was fairly normal.

It took an actual breakdown for me to go on medication. Then the depression and anxiety lifted and I was able to think more clearly. I still have the 'fitting in' difficulties but I can now sleep without overthinking and over planning.

The school mum years were difficult for me as I couldn't sustain conversations about ironing and other housework 😆

@LivingMyBestLie

Much of how you describe how you feel resonates with me,

I don't have a formal diagnosis of autism but am aware that family members definitely are autistic and my son has a diagnosis too.

Reasons why I would say it's more than being socially awkward,
I do like people and am genuinely interested in their lives and am emphatic but I really dislike socialising always struggling to fit in, frequently feeling that most people dislike me.

I also spend much of the time feeling flat, without never knowing why.

I enjoy my own company but frequently wish I was more like normal people and able to enjoy life more.

Also have loads of sensory issues, tics and special interests

I've given up trying to fit in. What you see is what you get, and if it's not to someone's liking, sucks to be them!

You sound similar to how I was pre diagnosis. It's better now I understand why.