Things going to pot at work

[DeborahVance]

I've been in the job I'm in now for about 18 months. All went brilliantly at first but I am now back to my adhd self making silly mistakes more and more and I can feel my reputation slipping away. People checking my work or my judgement - very nicely, I know they want me to do well, but I know that they are losing confidence in me.

I've been here before and am coming to the conclusion that I may just need to reign in my ambition, take on less and be thankful that I've got a reasonably secure job.

It feels so disappointing though as I'd love to be able to do the job that I've got really well. It's really intellectually challenging and I would enjoy it but my brain just doesn't let me do it properly

Anyone else had similar experiences at work?

Do they know you have adhd? What adjustments do you have to support you?

My manager does but I haven't formally disclosed it.

She is very supportive. I work from home so I divide my time up with pomodoro sessions and do a couple of headspace meditations every day.

I am beginning to realise that I have real problems in processing instructions that I had never really acknowledged before.

I miss things in emails, or misunderstood what people say.
I am very academic (sailed through school/university with highest grades) and in a quite academic job so it hadn't occurred to me before.

I am really unsure whether to disclose more widely as I dint know what further accommodations would help.

Really grateful for any thoughts

Knowing that processing instructions and missing things in emails is a problem for you gives you a place to start.

You need to be given clearer instructions and supported to not miss things in emails. One way of tackling it would be to follow up with a clarification email. ‘My understanding is that I am being asked to (bullet point list). Can you please confirm this is correct?’

I find email awful. I have struggled so much with it throughout my career. I am doing much better now in my current role, largely because my managers and team are so much more supportive than I’ve ever had before. It’s quite a weird team though - being NT puts you in the minority in it. So there’s a general level of acceptance that people will miss things and value having it flagged to them, and so on.

The general support makes it feel much safer to say ‘I’m neurodivergent, and I can work much better if you put the some key summary bullet points at the top of emails to ensure I don’t miss anything’ to people outside the team. Tbh, that is actually good practice in supporting everyone: no one’s life is made easier by having to hunt for information in a long email/email chain.

it might be a good idea to formally disclose it and get an occ health referral. They may have loads of ideas about how your employer can better support you. And it protects you a bit because you can say, ‘im
struggling with this because of my ND condition.’ And ask for changes/support to make it better. That takes some of the constant fear of being ‘found out’ and getting into trouble.

Thanks that is really helpful again. I spent this morning journaling, or jotting down really, everything that came into my head and just really beginning to try to understand what I need.

I was diagnosed two years ago but I think I am only now really getting to grips with it, certainly at a deeper level.

I did actually have a conversation with a more senior manager as my manager is away and said that I know that my brain sometimes misreads things and it would be helpful to explore how to make instructions in emails more explicit.

Im interesting that you identify as neurodivergent, I wonder if a way through for me would be to tell those who I work with closely that I'm nd and disclose my ADHD to HR. As I said my immediate manager already knows.

Absolutely. There’s no reason to broadcast the details of your condition.

Tbh, depending on the situation, I might say ‘I’ve got ADHD’ or ‘I’m ND’. It’s less identifying as such, as what information I think people need or I feel like disclosing at the time.

If it helps you to be more comfortable, publicly using the more general term, but disclosing the specifics to HR is a sensible thing to do.

This has been so helpful! Thank you

How are you doing OP?

I’ve realised that it’s time to give up my job that requires accuracy, time management and tight deadlines. I’m not saying this is the path for you but I’ve just decided it’s a no from me now. I need to accept that I need something where I won’t be on edge all the time worrying about missing something or making a mistake.

I wish I had disclosed my ADHD when I started. I know it’s never too late but for me it feels like it is. Did you decide to disclose formally? If you enjoy your job and want to stick with it then it would be worth doing. It’s easier to do it now than when something does go tits up and you need to mention it then.

Hi @fuckadhd. I've just had two weeks leave and feel a million times better, though I imagjne this won't last.

I've found that doing some meditation during the day really helps, as does just noticing when I get distracted (ie all the time !) and not engaging with it.

I'd actually forgotten about this thread and the discussion about disclosure but I am minded to log with HR.