Are these symptoms of ADHD in an adult?

[FlorencePennnywell]

1. Never been able to hold down a job. In 30 + years of working. Some jobs have lasted an hour, others 5 years but all end the same. Either almost sacked, don't bother turning up, can't focus, don't want to be there. (Resolved by working for myself!)

1. Useless with money. Started aged 18 when the bank manager actually turned up on the doorstep to confiscate my cheque guarantee card. Just cannot manage money (I get round this by earning enough now!)

1. Passions. A lifetime of cast off hobbies. I'll be passionate about something for a short while and then very quickly lose interest. Latest was a mini trampoline. Had to have the best one etc at a cost of £400. Used it once. This is one in a long line of 'things'

1. Feel very odd around people sometimes. Like I'm wearing a mask. I pitched for a job yesterday and got it. Lovely man and lovely company. Came away feeling sorry for them as 'I'll just mess this up.' It's not imposter syndrome though

On the flip side, I'm not a chaotic person. My home is very clean and tidy. My marriage is normal and I'm a decent parent who provides a nice stable home

It's irritating me now though so wondered if anyone had any thoughts

Anyone?

It could very well be in my opinion.

Or it could be that you don't enjoy working or haven't found a job that you enjoy? And you might just enjoy buying things and don't want to make the effort to rein yourself in? It's all too vague. Not saying you might not have adhd, but you can't diagnose from that.

That sounds like possible ADHD, yes.

How is your mental health generally?

@amijustparanoidorjuststoned thanks for the response. I don't have any mental health issues and never have had. No depression or anything

It's classic for neuro-diverse people to have a very patchy career path or none at all. I have no career (I work in a charity shop) but have a post-graduate diploma. I have never had a clue how to get on at work, the social skills necessary are beyond me.

@Randomword6 it's very frustrating

Ask any of my family or my best friend and they'd laugh and tell you I'm work shy and it's 'just who I am'

Maybe I am work shy? I don't like it much that's for sure - mainly due to a mixture of boredom, feeling trapped, and worrying I won't be able to do what's asked of me

But I'm not stupid. The business that I run is the most successful of its kind in the UK. I have a social media following for said business of over 250K. I work for some of the top companies.

But that's probably me putting a good spin on things. The above facts are all true. Also true is that I can't grow any further, business wise, because I can't work collaboratively with people in person. I will resist all attempts to zoom with others - why can't they just fecking call me?

I got a new job the other week. It means me working for 8 hours a week in person with others. I don't think I can do it because A what if I can't turn the computer on (a real fear, I've had this before) and B the very real effort it takes me to behave normally. Which is very weird because I do bloody behave normally! It's only in my own head I'm not acting normally!

But all my life I've been called weird, quirky, sarcastic (get this a lot!) dry (and this!) and just a bit strange

But to meet me, you wouldn't spot any of this. Nothing marks me out as 'different.' Work with me though in an employment environment? There's a chance I'll rub you up the wrong way. I won't carry out tasks properly and I'll look to cut corners. I'll want to take lots of breaks - just to sit in the toilet. A lunch break? I won't sit in a staff room - I'll sit in my car so I don't have to talk to anyone. I worked in retail once, some years ago. I was putting out food goods and found myself eating grapes and some mini cheeses as I was doing it. Why? Because I wanted to as I was peckish. I KNOW this isn't normal

My friends laugh and find it funny. They say I'm just a bit work shy and lazy, it's very 'me.' This is why I now work for myself as much as I can.

Ugh, I'm rambling now.

When I'm employed I can't sleep the night before having to work. I feel wooden and stilted when I'm working with other staff members, in how I interact with them. I will do anything I can to shirk a rule. Opportunity to leave early? I'll take it. Late back from lunch? I'll try and swing it.

I worry when talking to others in a work place. I'm either a bit intense and OTT or I can't be bothered to talk. Or I decide I don't like any of them at all.

I'm lazy and Skivey.

However ... I'm also a brilliant conversationalist when I want to be. Funny and attentive and saying the right things. I've always passed every interview I've ever gone for because I'm basically pretending to be someone I'm clearly not.

And then - I start the job and I'll have a day off sick within a couple of months. And I'll do the least I can get away with. I've had some amazing jobs too which I've messed up. I've been in the police, I've worked in forensics, I've worked for cool social media brands - all sorts. And all messed up by me

I'm very tired of inflicting this on others now as it's not fair so writing this all down has made me realise I need to knock the 8 hour job offer on the head and stick with my own stuff

But - as I'm on a roll here! - the flip side to this chaotic career thing is that I'm a good organised parent. No corners are cut! My youngest is a teenager now but I ensure his bag is packed the night before school. I overbuy uniform and always have done to ensure he is always smart. It makes me twitchy if his uniform isn't all out the evening before, hung up and ready to wear. I have close relationships with both my kids and my marriage is very good. I'm 'normal' at home and a 'normal' parent.

My husband jokingly tells me I'm a weirdo and quirky. He says no to ADHD, he says I clearly have Asperger's as I'm awkward socially etc but as they don't even diagnose that any more, I suspect he's talking rubbish!

My house is immaculate and I take a lot of pride in it. Nothing builds up like washing or dishes or paperwork.

So who knows? I should go to sleep

It sounds as if the world of work is anathema to you, while being at home and in control of your environment is very important. I know that sounds like stating the bloody obvious. You can try to state clearly that you won't be doing zoom etc at the outset of a job. You could also say that you find some social situations difficult. There is some consciousness of ADD and Autism in the world of work, and if the disclosure stops you getting a job you have the right to appeal. It's also worth saying that you don't want to work somewhere they couldn't support you. By the way some of your characteristics are very like mine and I am diagnosed with ADD. The medication helps.

@Randomword6 god yes, that's it in a nutshell. And it may be stating the obvious but I've not thought of it like that before.

I related to al of this and I have ADHD and Asperger’s.