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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

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ADHD and perfectionism

1 reply

soloula · 06/08/2022 11:24

Recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism at the grand old age of 43 (thanks Tik Tok). I'm now medicated on 50mg Elvanse and the difference it has made is night and day. However one of my symptoms which over the years has become a bad habit which the meds aren't touching is my perfectionism. It's crippling. I don't start a task because of a fear of not doing it perfectly, have major self esteem issues which my psychiatrist says are tied in with the perfectionism - I set myself such high standards and it causes issues for me when I inevitably don't meet them. I'm a people pleaser - I want to be liked and seen as perfect with others (even folk don't like myself which know is ridiculous...). I could go on but since this is a ND board figure others will be in a similar position.

Has anyone successfully dealt with/curbed/reigned in or otherwise minimised their perfectionist tendencies and the impact they have on their lives? If so how? I've got loads of books saved on my Amazon wish list but I know most of these won't be aimed at ND people so perhaps not the most helpful.

OP posts:
FloorWipes · 08/08/2022 12:27

Just want you to know you aren’t alone in this! I don’t have the answers though.

I absolutely think perfectionism is linked to the issues you describe and I have also seen it described as a manifestation of rejection sensitive dysphoria in ADHD. One psychiatrist told me that perfectionism was a feature of my personality that had formed from very early on around my ND and which it would therefore be unlikely for me to change.

However I’m sure the impact on our lives can be reduced somehow.

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