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NT children vs ND children...

2 replies

adhdforme · 05/08/2022 22:37

This is a genuine question and observation. Not trying to be negative or anything, so please hear me out.

I have ADHD. My 11yr son most likely does too, and possibly ASD. Because my house is always a mess I've always been embarrassed to have people over including friends to play with my DC. At home with us my son is quite lively and full on, jumping around and generally driving me bat shit crazy because he doesn't stop talking. After feeling bad for so many years of not having his friends over for play dates we've finally had a few recently, including a sleepover last weekend. I could tell my son was reaaaally trying to behave and was masking to try and stay calm to the same level of his friend. He did really well not acting silly and paying attention to the movie they watched.

But something struck me about this boy that came for the sleepover and then I realised it's actually most of his other friends too.

They're all calm and boring as hell! The boys seemed to have no personality. No conversation skills, no zest for life really. They just sat there like little zombies and if I tried to talk to them and ask them what they'd like for breakfast etc, they just kind of sat there with blank looks on their faces and didn't say anything. If I asked these boys how their day was I got nothing, just a lot of staring at the floor and mumbling.

Is this normal for NT boys? Or normal for most boys no matter if they're NT or ND? I'm just used to my son who loves having adult conversations with people. We've always had people compliment us on my sons social skills. But maybe he's the odd one out and most kids are just kind of blah as I've described.

What do you think?

OP posts:

BoardLikeAMirror · 06/08/2022 09:23

I wonder if your son's friends were shy in the presence of an adult they don't know well and an unfamiliar house (you say you've only just started having people over to your house). Now you've taken the first difficult step of having them in your house (I know how hard it can be having new people come into your house; no one other than family ever comes into mine!) hopefully you will be able to continue inviting them and they might start to relax more and show you their true personalities. It's great to hear that your son was able to enjoy himself and coped so well with the adjustment!


Tired2tired · 06/08/2022 15:14

They're probably just shy around adults as Boards said, I don't think this is a nt/nd thing.
Basically all my friends were autistic growing up, as I went to a nd school, we all had times of just shyness like your sons friends, not talking to adults etc, some more than others.

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