I have autism, diagnosed a few years ago.
My DS age 13 was diagnosed with autism about 9 months ago.
He is bright and able, just about to start y9 at a selective school which he got a place ar with minimal preparation (just a bit of practice to get used to the format of the tests)
One reason we felt an academically selective school would be a good idea is because he has always preferred to do the least amount of work he can get away with, and in a mixed ability group he pretends to be only able to tackle the easiest options despite being perfectly capable of the stretch target tasks. That I guess is "demand avoidance" to some extent but not pathologically so.
But some of his behaviours to avoid tasks are getting more extreme. Eg lying on the floor kicking the furniture (yes he is 13 years old) because I insisted that he needed to write the address on an envelope for a paper a paper application form he needed to send off, and he didn't want to have to do writing because it is the summer holidays. In term time homework is a massive struggle because anything that takes more than 5-10 minutes is treated as the most hideous torture with daily yelling and screaming, but he still does pretty well in exams though only about average within the academically selective school cohort.
I know that this example is mild compared to some experiences of PDA which can include total school refusal or even being unable to leave the house, so I want to try to understand is this sort of thing a milder form of PDA, or do PDA tendencies escalate and become more extreme if badly managed such that we might be headed that way? If this is PDA then have I made a massive mistake in choosing an academically demanding school? Can people with PDA still find a way to have a career and financial independence?
I would love to hear from any adults who have been diagnosed with PDA themselves who can articulate what might be going on in DS's head because he can't explain and hates being asked to describe why he is so upset from such tiny things.