Help! Does my toddler have ADD?

[Drinkinggreentea]

I love my three year old girl to bits but she's always been extremely difficult and draining.

Not sure if this is relevant but I had a healthy, textbook pregnancy and there is no ADD in the family (that I know of). She's had awful anger problems since she was a newborn and has always been high needs and very demanding.

As a baby, she had to be held day and night constantly, wanted to breastfeed every hour for months and would only sleep after 45 minutes of angry screaming. We obviously had to put her down to avoid us falling asleep with her in our arms.

She went to a nice childminder for a few months and would spend hours screaming. Around 6 months she started banging her head on the floor when she was angry.

Now, she still gets so angry (over things like not wanting to get dressed or not being allowed to drink Calpol or because she wants something then she doesn't) that she bangs her head repeatedly, bites things, bangs on the walls and windows and occasionally tries to hit or bite us.

She's always had extreme emotions for no logical reason and can go from laughing her head off to having epic meltdowns that last for 40 minutes at least. It's so bad the neighbours are concerned and keep knocking.

She will ask me to do or get things for her ALL day non stop, every two minutes. She can't entertain herself at all and has to be constantly stimulated. Even when I try to do fun activities/days out she gets bored constantly and wants to do something else, something else, something else.

She cannot play by herself and even when it comes to things like watching TV, she asks me to change the channel every three minutes. Obviously I don't give in to her most of the time but she grinds me down by asking me to do things non-stop and then getting angry or angry crying if she doesn't get what she wants.

She's very sociable, loves attention and LOVES being with other kids as she gets the level of stimulation she needs so her behaviour is better at nursery but if she doesn't want to do something there she sulks and won't do it.

She's physically lazy but she needs to be entertained all the time and even when she gets what she wants she's not happy and soon wants something else.

The tantrums have been going on daily for three years. Sometimes two or three a day.

My other child is not like this at all. I'm overwhelmed and exhausted. Does this sound like ADD? What can I do to help her?

[ChocoButterfly]

That sounds exhausting.

I think you could speak to your health visitor about it. Diagnosis take ages so might aswell get the ball rolling from now even if it's not ADD.

What could seem like no logical reason to you could be a sensory sensitivity that she has that you're not aware of. Have a Google of sensory avoiding behaviour and sensory seeking behaviour. That might help you think about things that may be bothering her that can be avoided.

[Drinkinggreentea]

Thanks @ChocoButterfly for your advice! I'll definitely look into that!

[ChocoButterfly]

You're welcome. Hopefully some others will give you some more advice.

Also you could join some Facebook groups for parents of Neurodivergent groups for some tips. Even if your daughter isn't neurodivergent the advice won't harm your child. It's really important that the group is neurodivergent affirmative rather than viewing add as a disorder.

[Drinkinggreentea]

@ChocoButterfly Thanks a lot :)