Emotional about my lack of social skills

[AutieAdult]

Sorry if this seems like a pity party.

Just been on another thread where a lovely poster is dealing with her daughter being singled out to be a playmate.

i can just imagine myself as the child trying to play and not managing. Then I gave up and was and am pretty lonely. I’m adult diagnosed so there was no social support and there certainly isn’t anything now. I do go to meet up groups but still feel I’m on the edge of the group. I have no partner or DC

i know that a lot of adults with autism/ND are content when alone but does anyone else struggle with this. 😔

Ah I am the same op it is hard right?
difference is I was diagnosed as a child but still no support I had/have no idea how to “play”
I was watching my young niece making a friend in the playground and playing together for such a long time. I said to my auntie I never could do that even when I was a child I always on the edge I cannot even join in conversations as an adult I tend to shout and take them over or not know what to say
i have no advice I just wanted you to know you not alone cos I know how hard it is I not got a partner or kids and just live my by own it is a bit rubbish sometimes

I sometimes content alone, but I get really lonely this weekend has been really hard for me cos everyone else has family and friends and I always get forgotten (or intentionally left out I am not sure but I guess I not easy to be around ☹️)

In some ways nice but also sad to know I’m not alone. Given that my local authority didn’t address the needs that were actually in my statement of special educational needs diagnosis might not have helped.

Oh, bless you love, you are not alone.

I think you’re very (very) brave to try the meet ups. might there be some volunteer work My son is 21 and diagnosed at age 4. He has a dry sense of humour, is kind, exceptionally polite and very wordy. He’s just started a part time job in a cafe and also does some volunteering once a week. In short, I’m immensely proud of him. Last night he said to me “I feel sad that I don’t have any friends; I have tried but I just can’t do it”. In fairess, he HAS tried but he never clicks with anyone like himself. I don’t KNOW anyone like him either.

I was diagnosed late with Aspergers and I do have a husband and obviously, my son. I have acquaintances but only two friends who are from school/college and we’ve kept in touch, over the years. I fear for my son and am anticipating his loneliness going forward because I know how it feels to be different, to try and then give up trying because it’s just too hard.

I know it might be a cliché but the more you do, the more likelihood of meeting more people and possibly a friend or future partner. Might you have time to do some volunteering? An Aspie acquaintance of ours met his wife whilst volunteering at a local outfit. We went to the wedding last year. The local Leisure centre might be able to help. Ours used to have a monthly asd meet-up for adults (sadly, not anymore; stopped by Covid and moved the venue to 40 miles away🙄). I used to go and it was lovely to meet other women like me. I really thought I was the only one. They were very normal, warm and welcoming.

I’ve made a decision to just not “try” anymore, with NT folk. It’s like a secret code they have which I only have half of the key, to fathom it with. I’m doomed to fail! It’s just too, too hard.

DH was away last week. I read a lot. Walked the dog. Had mini conversations with other regular dog walkers which is about as much as I can “do” and worked from home. I lead a small life but, it’s ok.

I wonder, with all of the people on this fantastic Neurodiverse Mumsnetters forum (thank you Mumsnet!) whether it might be possible to set up a virtual meet up space? I’ll drop Mumsnet HQ an email 😊