A nice non-judgemental place for hacks and tips for things that should be automatic but are more difficult than most people understand.

[Trivester]

I think there are a lot of issues we face that aren’t readily understood by neurotypicals - self care and medication come to mind for me but I’m sure others will have their own particular struggles. It might be helpful to share little things that have helped, or even just to share difficulties so we know we’re not alone.

I need more than one type of toothbrush and paste or I hit a sensory wall and just cannot bear it.

I wash in the evening - I cannot bear the feel of water on my skin early in the day.

If you find an item of clothing that's just right, buy a few of them!

I have two types of toothbrush on the go as well. Can’t believe that’s not just me! And I have several copies of the same jeans and leggings.

I miss out on a lot of self care and I don’t manage to take prescribed medication. I don’t really understand why this is and would love to find some ways to help.

I have routines written out and laminated for various different things including dressing myself
if it is not laid out in front of me in the order I get dressed I cannot dress myself people really do not understand this
i live by my own since my dad died and I really cannot look after me ☹️

@PinkBuffalo I’m so sorry to hear that your dad died and I’m sorry you are finding it hard to look after yourself. Laminated routines sound like a great idea. I hope there are more ideas out there that can help.

@PinkBuffalo that sounds very hard.

@FloorWipes medication defeats me - it’s as if my body just goes on strike and won’t do it. I’ve managed my longest streak with hrt gel but I’m starting to rebel and find it unbearable. I might talk to my doctor about switching between different versions.

@ofwarren absolutely! It’s such a joy to find the right item. I usually don’t realise how much something is working for me until it’s sold out everywhere. I wish shops would just repeat the same clothes over and over.

I thought of a few more:

I listen to podcasts at x2 when I need to focus or concentrate on a non wordy task, particularly boring housework.

I talk out loud to myself when I’m really stressed or over stretched. It helps to be alone obviously but needs must.

The older I get, the more unapologetic I am about protecting myself - If I am feeling fragile I am careful about exposing myself to music, scent and the news because they can all trigger intensely emotional states. I don’t care who judges me for not hearing some sensational news story.

I use a lot of alarms to remember things.

That is interesting op cos as I get older I am similar in avoiding things that make me really uncomfortable or unhappy
when I was younger I was much more of a people pleaser and would do things like a few parties etc which were really awful for me and would have to leave very early after 20mins or so
Now I just say I cannot cope sorry
I understand my own limitations a bit more I guess

This!
I'm 42 now and I've been the same for a few years. I refuse to do things that make me uncomfortable if I don't have to do them.

My top tips, in no particular order:

• Accept that some things are just harder for than for NTs and it's OK to do them differently - try not to waste energy on self-blame!

• Tiles for your phone and keys - just the most brilliant thing ever

• Visual timers

• Pill boxes for meds so you don't have to remember whether or not you've taken them - you do have to remember to fill them up each week though!

• Speak up if you can - are you too hot / cold, is something too loud? Can you ask for it be changed in some way?

If others have tips on budgeting and batch cooking that would be much appreciated! Feel like I don't have the energy for either but also really need to do both!

Make double portions of your safe food when you're feeling like you can cook and freeze up the spare portion. It took me far too many years of not eating post meltdown or just eatting crisps etc to realise this. Future tired2tired is always thankful for past tired2tired's contributions 😂 means I can shove something in the oven and hide away in my quilt until its ready and still eat something vaguely nutritious that I know I like.

I second this - I do it with shoes.

Currently, I have three pairs of the same shoes - one for wearing, and two to hopefully see me through the next ten years.

I found a pair of trainers that were really comfortable and bought about 10 pairs in various shades of black :) They'll probably see me through to the end of time!

If you are in work (including self-employed) get an assessment with Access to Work from the DWP. I did it this year and I wished I had done it sooner. The assessor was amazing in respect of neurodiversity. I’ve been recommended various technology abs training, which honestly has been a game changer. As I’m self employed it’s all funded by DWP (if you work DwP funds but depending on size of employer they need to make a contribution).

Yes to talking out loud to myself! Helps so much.

Re batch cooking - I tend to have a few recipes which became temporary special interests whilst I got them just right.

Now I cook them in bulk, eg I make fresh pasta sauce x 12 portions and freeze them in ziplock bags on their side, so they are thin and quick to defrost by standing a bowl of water.

Then I batch cook pasta (undercook it by 2 mins so it's not soggy when reheated), cool under running water, freeze in ziplocks. Take out when needed, put in Pyrex jug and add boiling water from kettle to defrost & heat it.

Mix with pasta sauce, add grated cheese = safe food quickly.