How do you deal with the loneliness..

[MoreLettuce]

Currently working from home, no hobbies as such. I often feel as if I should be doing something more but can’t for the life of me push myself. The thought of joining a club alone terrifies me, so I don’t go. Apart from talking with my DH and DD and my parents, I’m pretty much alone (when not working part time of course).

Just interested, his do you fill your time, do you ever feel lonely or do you prefer doing your own thing?

Any advice most welcome, thanks

I only talk to DH and my 3 kids and sometimes my mum but I don't get lonely. I honestly have no need for actual friendships.
I spend my time doing normal parenting things but also indulging in my special interests.

@ofwarren; thanks for your reply. I used to do a bit of crafting back in the day. I did enjoy it so am considering starting back up. It certainly kept me busy.

@ofwarren I'm always scared of clubs too. I have 'liked' a few walking/running clubs on Facebook but never get the courage to go. I tend to read a lot in the evenings or get into a box set, used to do a few jigsaws as well.

I’d like to have friends but nobody has ever wanted to be my friend. In the olden days I used to read a LOT. Nowadays it’s much easier to keep busy, I watch Netflix and I still read books sometimes. I surf the internet and read the news, and I do art as a hobby. And I work in my own time just to be busy, I even do work tasks on Friday or Saturday nights if I’m bored.

Hi, thank you for posting about this.
I have only just found out about this board but a quick skim makes me feel less of an oddball.
I have ADHD, two kids, physical disabilities, working from home and in office although currently signed off sick as have broken down.

I believe I am autistic too but not sure if I can be arsed to try and get an assessment as I am jumping through so many metaphorical hoops but it could possibly help with getting my kids assessed sooner.

I'm desperately lonely.
No relationship. Lots of friends but no close friends.

I have chronic fatigue , mobility issues and pain and just can't keep up with everyone, no family support as all disparate around the country.

Waiting for my kids to be assessed and have backed off from a lot of friendships either due to attitudes to my disabilty or towards my children's behaviour and my 'excusing' it with neurodiversity bandwagon jumping.

I have never felt more alone than I do now.
No energy or self esteem to date and am really crap at judging potential romantic partners so am vulnerable to abuse and letting people walk all over me (friends too).

Have a few Nd friends and friends with Similar physical health issues, but they're all tied up with their own families, partners etc or are not able to meet due to their own challenges.

I don't know how much longer I can live like this, alone and in pain, constantly advocating and fighting for me and the kids.

I'm battling every day and feel I have nothing to offer as a friend or potential love interest as I've become so insular
Lockdown was my tipping point I think, along with (peri) menopause

I have had loads of hobbies but as my mental and physical health have deteriorated, I have lost a lot of motivation and my disabilty has really deteriorated over the last few years.
I feel like I'm losing myself

most of my spare time is spent scrolling through crap on my phone.
I was an avid reader and I've been reading the same gripping book for approx six months, ordinarily I'd have read it in a day!

Keen for any advice or even just to chat here with people who 'get it'

Zedcarz, you might be suffering from depression. There are medications which could make you feel better. You are dealing with many stressful things in your life—please consider speaking to your GP about this aspect of your health. Medication helped me immensely when I was at a very low point in my life.
Your kids are depending on you, please take gentle care of yourself.

@Zedcarz It does sound like you are going through a tough time right now. You mentioned being currently signed off from work. Can I ask what your doctor has recommended? Like the previous pp has said, medications can help to get you through.

It can be so difficult sharing with others what we are going through and I can so relate to when you talk of ‘backing off’ from people. Just having to navigate a conversation can be so hard as some peoples understanding can feel disappointing to us, especially when we feel so low.

Since coming on here I’m finding support the first time in years and will continue to take one step at a time.

@MoreLettuce and @PrayTell thanks for your kind responses and advice.

I'm definitely depressed!
I seem to be resistant to anti depressants, I've tried loads and they make me feel flat and even more exhausted.
I become like a zombie plus super weight gain which impacts further on my pain and joints and sadly my self esteem.
GP has increased pain and anxiety medication and just said to stay off to decompress and get used to the new medication regime, plus after asking for ten years I've finally been referred to the pain the for mental health support.
I've been 'working' with the pain team physios for years on and off but it's been a very hands off approach and lots of fobbing off too. I've asked countless times for them to review my medication and for the mental health support as I know they have medication and psychological support in the team but they always bounced me back to GP and statutory mental health support.
I've persevered with getting this referral but
I have been advised that the waiting list is huge, shame they didn't refer me when I first asked!
It's very hard to juggle everything and to support the kids while I'm in this state.
Wishing you all the best for your journeys too!