Employment

[Lankyboxmum]

Those of you who manage to work - how?? My husband works full time but I’ve just took on a casual job covering events etc, where I can pick up shifts when I’m needed. But honestly, even one 6 hour shift a week is leaving me exhausted and overwhelmed. I get headaches while I’m working, dizziness and shut down.

I think it’s getting myself mentally prepared, then the socialisation and trying to follow instructions that tires me, rather than the work. But even the next day I’m burnt out and exhausted.

how am I meant to ever have full time employment when I can’t deal with a few hours? I seriously feel so lazy and worthless.

If this employment doesn’t work, doesn’t mean all employments won’t?

i had a series of jobs I managed for just 2-4 months each before I landed with my current employer.

work that suits how my brain works, a relaxed and inclusive culture and some reasonable adjustments mean I’ve lasted 6 years and 2 promotions with current employer.

think about strengths you have and environments you enjoy and work out what jobs would suit.

I've not been able to work for years for this reason. I had no life. I'd come home from work and just sleep and then sleep all weekend.

I think the only type of role that would suit me is working from home so I don’t need to interact or try to fit in. But the thought of using computers and phoning people day after day fills me with dread. Being out my safe space is hard for me.

I wonder if I would cope with a job that was with other autistic people. I see adverts for support workers for autistic people and see them out and about in the town, taking them to the shops etc. I bet that would be less stressful because the expectations of socialising wouldn't be there.
It's 1 on 1
Animal based job too like dog walker maybe.

@ofwarren I’m technically a unpaid carer to my children who are Neurodiverse, so going into that sector could work! Also, I have thought about dog walking but the thought of going self employed and all the advertising makes my head seriously hurt plus the thought of being held liable for any accidents, but yes working with dogs would be a dream job 😂

I'm totally the same with the self employed thing. I'd much prefer a job at the RSPCA walking them but I only ever see volunteering jobs there.

In the past, I worked as a carer and support worker for autistic, learning disabled people and for those with a range of mental health needs. I loved the clients and found them so delightful and relatable - but the challenge I found was THE OTHER STAFF and all the incomprehensible politics and drama. That said, though, it is a heavy physically-demanding job, so tiring in that sense too.

I feel the same way. Even working part time in a low-stress job I just get so exhausted and drained.

Everyone says you just need to find the right job, but I don't know how to find out what I would be good at / enjoy / be able to cope with.

Definitely couldn't cope with being self employed! The advertising; finding clients; keeping on top of tax, regulations, etc; organising my time.
Not suited to working from home either as I'm also inattentive ADHD and procrastinate endlessly, so get really stressed AND get no work done.

@Bergamotte Yes exactly! We claim UC because my husband isn’t on a great wage, and I’m a unpaid carer to my children, but there’s a lot of pressure to go back to employment and I won’t exactly get the choice to be picky about what I do.

I think part of the reason you’re struggling is because this kind of evening shift work (after a day of work looking after the kids!) is particularly tough. You are starting it when you’re already exhausted. You get home, sleep and then the next day starts with no proper down time. It’s really tough.

I couldn’t do it. And I say that as someone who just about manages to work FT and has done so since I finished university (barring maternity leave and periods of sick leave). Sure I’ve spent my adult life feeling on the verge of done kind of disciplinary procedures because of things that are (I now realise) totally to be expected with ADHD. But I have somehow managed to remain in employment. Just about.

Similarly, my children have never required any care beyond standard. They have all been in childcare while I worked. So I was not having to juggle additional needs and days of childcare with work. I could take days off if they were sick (without losing out on pay). Life is still exhausting and hard but it is much easier to actually work when they’re in FT nursery and you’re not trying to juggle additional balls.

I currently work in a job with loads of flexibility in a team in which neurotypical people are the minority (and the team head is autistic). It’s the only time in my life where I have ever felt that I’m doing well at work. It’s also the only job where playing to my strengths is the default. And it’s totally OK to just say that I’m having a bad day and just can’t. The brilliant thing about that is that it means there are fewer bad days like that because I’m less stressed about it and don’t need to mask.

This is all long winded… I guess the point is that I think you might be being really hard on yourself and not recognising quite how challenging what you are trying to do actually is.

@Bergamotte i definitely couldn’t cope with being self employed either. It sounds even worse than being employed. All that extra admin, plus absolutely no external accountability to force some action out of me.

In terms of what works well for me, I’ve learned that the sprints thing in agile working is good for me. So long as they are actual sprints. And well organised ones with proper outcomes. I can basically (hyper) focus for that and get stuff done and then be totally useless in between. Inconsistent productivity is all anyone is ever getting from me.

That’s a good point about other responsibilities!

We have no kids, my husband takes the lions share of housework, we have a cleaner so my life is set up to allow me to work FT. I don’t think I could have kids and work FT, the idea of being so responsible 24/7 is draining and it wouldn’t be fair on DH.

I really struggle working but have no choice I got no family to help me I live by my own and bills to pay ☹️