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Anxiety from Neighbour noise how to handle?
6

AyeUpMeDuck · 19/07/2022 20:03

There now follows a long ramble, please skip to the end.

I'm 42.
I've always been sensitive to noise, my ears work far better than everyone else's... Or that's how it seems anyway.

They've moved me to a new house, social housing, not really relevant.

Basically the walls are very thin and I can hear my neighbours. They're not doing anything extreme, there's no loud music or bass line thumping. They're just living.
But, I'm told, I have autistic traits and that's one of the reasons I'm sensitive to noise.

My daughter hears my neighbours bumping and closing doors etc and she shrugs it off and it barely registers too her, I'm sat there in a state with my ears going crazy, feeling like I'm under sensory attack, which causes anxiety and swearing and rage at times.

So...

How do I deal with it?
Noise cancelling headphones? Would they work?
Really really good earplugs?
Ear defenders borrowed from member of a flight deck crew on the RAF?
Or some kind of training desensitizing regime?

Too long, didn't read..
Neighbour noise bothers me, how can I cope better with it? Block it out? Desensitizing training?

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LetMeInYourWindow · 19/07/2022 20:33

The social housing aspect is relevant because I was all set to jump on and say move. Why have they moved you? Are you happy with the house apart from being able to hear next door?


I’m very noise sensitive and have lived next door to neighbours who were loud and inconsiderate. It made me ill. I wish we’d moved sooner but that isn’t really going to be an option for you I’m guessing.


In your shoes I’d go for noise cancelling headphones. Earplugs didn’t stop me hearing our next door, I still couldn’t sleep for hearing them! Hopefully the headphones will give you the quiet you need but desensitisation might be worth looking into, if it works it could be life changing! Until then, I hope the headphones work Flowers

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AyeUpMeDuck · 19/07/2022 21:06

Why have they moved you? Are you happy with the house apart from being able to hear next door?

5he house is fine, the town I do t really know well but I'm learning. They offered us here partly as my old place was 3 bed and this is a 2 bed and I'm now 30 minutes drive from support network as opposed to 2.5hours. (there's more to it but the rest is more personal)

I would move to a detached in the middle of a field if I could.
Every house I've ever lived in I've heard the neighbours to a varying degree. It's only since my mental health took a nose dive this year that certain conditions have been mentioned by psychiatrist, autism being one.
Before then I thought tinnitus had made my ears super sensitive and that's why I hear everything...and I do mean everything.. all the time.. it's exhausting.

Right now, for example, I can hear the neighbours TV, their little daughter crying, their boy in the back garden on the trampoline. Their dog is wining in the kitchen and pacing back and forth on what sounds like laminate flooring. My fridge is whirring in the kitchen, it has a distinctive knock when compressor finsihes..
the extractor in the bathroom is going so I know my daughter has left the light on. My cat is in the kitchen scraping her litter tray. There's a dog out the back barking. 3 people, 2 men and a woman, out the front are chatting about the weather... And going up the shop for some chips.. There's a man mowing his lawn up the end of the street, maybe using a strimmer. A narrow boat just went down the canal, the chug chug chug is unmistakable. The main road, which is a good 5 minute walk from here, is a constant source of engines and noise and trucks and boy racers etc.
I can even hear the buzz of the internet routers plug in the socket and that's in another room.
But other than that, it's pretty quiet.

It used to be a comical thing commented on by people I've known,
"Parity could hear a pin drop 3 streets away.."

much laughing.. but to me, it's constant sensory input that I can't ignore

I think noise cancelling earphones is a good idea.. thank you. I'll get to googling. I've looked a few years ago at them but they were a lot of money then.

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SenoritaNaturista · 19/07/2022 21:36

There’s a Facebook group for misophonia, various headphone recommendations on there.

I empathise, dealing with the same issues myself.
Things that helped:

Me actually meeting the new neighbours and interacting with them, somehow improved things - rather than leaving me stressed at every new noise from these “unseen unknown people”

My teacher-mother reframed the children's noise for me - “how lovely to hear children, happy and playing”

At times, and only when strictly necessary, (when their noise is actually inconsiderate), my discreet but workable strategy is simply to alert them to my presence by doing normal household activities - emptying the glass recyling bin/ having a phone conversation that I would normally do privately, maybe some work on the car or gardening etc. The only reason for this is simply because I’m here alone, in silence with no noise whatsoever, they are normally completely oblivious to me being here at all - unless I use a modest method of just “letting them know” - I’m actually in my space as well.

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TirednExhausted · 20/07/2022 03:54

I moved to the middle of nowhere to escape neighbour noises, helpful!
In your shoes I would buy noise cancelling headphones as well as the ones that take the edge off, the Flair and loop and I forget the other brand for when you don't want the noise cancelling ones.

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AyeUpMeDuck · 20/07/2022 06:10

There’s a Facebook group for misophonia, various headphone recommendations on there.

I'll have a look for those, thanks.

I can't really reframe the noises I hear as anything but the noises I hear. Their TV and their doors closing etc. I suppose it's not so bad hearing the kid on a trampoline having fun, but the trampoline needs an oiling.. or burning.. one or t'other.

In your shoes I would buy noise cancelling headphones as well as the ones that take the edge off, the Flair and loop and I forget the other brand for when you don't want the noise cancelling ones.

I'm thinking noise cancelling headphones for awake times and loop earplugs for sleep... And maybe encasing my head in very thick concrete, leaving just nose holes and a feeding tube..

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juniperjump · 20/07/2022 23:51

Soundproofing?

If you have / can get a formal diagnosis, you may be eligible for a home adaptation grant for disabled people, it's applied for via your council to make adaptations to your home, whether rented or owned.

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