ND Family and Food

[ISaySteadyOn]

Everyone in our family is ASD and sometimes our vagaries conflict.

For example, here I am in tears cooking bloody pasta yet again because the DC won't eat anything else and feeling like a failure as a mother because in my head the rule is that you must feed your children varied and nutritious food and if you do not, you have failed. It's not the DCs' fault that they are how they are but I still feel cross because I used to like cooking and now I dread it.

It could be the planning. I am dyspraxic too which seems especially cruel. My brain demands routine and order but is utterly incapable of imposing any.🙄

I guess I am just rambling here hoping maybe someone will understand or relate.

Oh God yes.

DS eats what a very small, mostly unhealthy range of food. I lose sleep worrying about malnutrition, then forget to give him vitamins and lose more sleep.

Meanwhile dd who is younger absorbed the message that eating and enjoying food is the key, and is too heavy for her age. She and dh bond over good now, but he crash diets and I can’t get a handle on her weight.

I have my own issues that come and go and are hard to pin down exactly.

And I fully agree that my model of good parenting involves feeding my family nutritious food.

I’m a good cook but I’m so weary with it all that I struggle to manage any of the meal planning, prep, cooking. It is all so overwhelming. I’ve lost all enjoyment of cooking. And yes “bloody pasta”

Thank you! It helps a lot to know that I am not alone in feeling the overwhelm.

They like the pasta and, tbf, DS has a real gift for telling exactly when pasta is ready just by lifting it with a pasta spoon. DD1 at least eats salad. But I just hate thinking about it and then I envy DH's joy in cooking.

Totally feel you.

My DS will eat a few different hot meals, with much cajoling.

My DD is extremely restricted and has a limited repertoire of cold, branded foods.

We have a weekly loose meal plan suggested by the psychologist to help DD slowly (it might be years) feel safe around foods.

Monday is always pasta night. Different sauce each week, but always pasta.
Tues is rice.
Weds is potato.
Thu is fish and chips.
Fri is pizza.

For a few months DH and I have actually found the weekly plan a real help as there's no stress about deciding what to have for dinner.

But recently I'm bored and frustrated with it.

DD never touches any of it. She has her own separate plate of safe foods. DS complains bitterly about him being required to eat hot meals when DD isn't.

Argh ..

Re pasta -

Could you cook a main meal that you and your partner like, and offer pasta as a "side dish" (alternative)?

Green pesto, Dolmio stir-through sauce are super quick. Parmesan and grater on the table for kids to add themselves.

If you cook a 500g bag of pasta in salted water and take it out before it's al dente, you can cool it under cold water and either fridge/freeze it in individual portions (ziplock bags). Then reheat quickly when needed by standing in boiling water for a few mins. That way at least you're not cooking pasta every night. And it tastes absolutely fine if reheated this way (avoid reheating in microwave, it goes rubbery).