Knowing when to talk on the phone

[ofwarren]

I've just had one of those horrible phone calls where the other person doesn't seem to give cues when to talk and when to listen and I've basically just spoken over and hugely interrupted the person.

Why is it easier to tell with some people? Some phone calls are not too bad and the exchange is quite easy, but others I come off the phone a wreck! She must think I am so rude

Face to face is far easier. I hate the phone so much.

I'm laughing at your thread title...

Because I can't help as well, when do you talk on the phone? Always constantly amazed sil actually answers the phone to me.

I had to ring school this morning as one of my DS has hand foot and mouth. I usually just email them but for some reason today I thought I'd ring. Big mistake

I know a bit about the psychology of conversation. There are cues that indicate when people are relinquishing their turn or yielding to the next speaker.

a rise or fall in pitch at the end of a clause, a drawl on the final syllable
the termination of hand gestures, stereotyped expressions such as ‘but uh’ and ‘you know’
*a drop in pitch or loudness associated with one of these stereo- typed expressions
*the completion of a grammatical clause.

There are some analyses of Margaret Thatcher’s discourse patterns, because she was interrupted a lot more than most politicians, but apparently her speech contained a lot of these cues.

It’s fascinating reading but I still haven’t figured out how to do it in the real world. I know I often make people uncomfortable on the phone.

I’m also terrible for interrupting. A huge amount of what people say is completely predictable and if I’m not careful I don’t always notice that they haven’t completed their utterance.

Maybe she was distracted at school so her cues were off anyway.