Any good resources for explaining ND communication at work?

[Doubleraspberry]

I'm one of the chairs of a new ND network in my workplace, and am working with a D&I administrator (without much experience in the area) who is also supporting other new and fairly new equality networks. Ours is struggling; we are disorganised and members are not keen to take on additional work. We haven't managed to get much done compared to the others. I find the adviser quite difficult as she doesn't understand anything about ND and I feel she is pressuring me to deliver when I just don't have the capacity.

Yesterday we ended up (my co-chair and I who feels the same) having a row with her via messaging and she said that nothing she does for us is right. I don't want her to feel like this but I don't think she has made any effort to consider that we might need a different approach and communication style than the NT people she is otherwise dealing with.

Meanwhile this situation is triggering a lot of anxiety and inadequacy in me. I don't want to get too personal on this - does anyone have a good source of information about good ways to communicate with ND people? To complicate it all, I have ADHD and my colleague has ASD and most material I can find is around ASD - some of which I relate to but others not! I may be looking for a unicorn as I know there are so many different needs within the ND umbrella.

For ASD there are some resources linked on the National Autistic Society website: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance

As you say there is no 'one size fits all'.

Would it work to ask your ND members to give feedback on some of your existing/previous business communications, so you could see where these could be made more ND-friendly.

I struggle terribly with many communications at work because they are couched in business-speak, waffle, generalisations, contradictions and hyperbole. I know NT people can struggle with all that as well - take that struggle and multiply it by 10 if you are ND!

Prof Amanda Kirby has just published a book about ND at work - I've not read it yet, but it has been highly recommended:
www.amazon.co.uk/Neurodiversity-Work-Performance-Productivity-Neurodiverse/dp/1398600245/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3JSBIOATES2OQ&keywords=amanda+kirby&qid=1655234822&s=books&sprefix=amanda+ki%2Cstripbooks%2C79&sr=1-1

Do you mean general examples of things they’ve been sent by others? This individual is only communicating with me (I am ND and she is not) and it’s as much about her general communication style (eg firing random things into Teams messages that refer to passing conversations I’ve forgotten) as the content.

I’m not sure she’s listening to me as I will say something (in writing) and she’ll come back with something totally different to what I meant, and I don’t think I’m generally unclear! So I thought something from a neutral party might help!

@TeaandHobnobs There’s not much chance of them reading a book but I’ll check it out myself!

I’d suggest that you simply explain to her that you and your co-chair need her to take a different approach to communication because of your neurodiversity.

Can you signpost her to neurodiversity training? Identifying this training as a key priority for your network to succeed is a reasonable course of action.

If she’s unwilling as a D&I administrator to adapt her approach to be more inclusive, I’d discuss that with her line manager. It may be that some serious D&I training is required in the D&I department.

Do you have an employee assistance programme that your work are signed up to, mine use LifeWorks and they have a lot of resources on the website/app about various disabilities, learning difficulties, mental health conditions and all sorts really. They also have people can you can speak to and can tailed support so may be able to offer a more personalised range of support to your specific work environment and challenges.

I am trying to get them to use a company like this with no success so far. But I continue to try.

I have tried already to explain but she’s not absorbing it yet. I did try again today and copied in her line manager which may make a difference. I do think she’s not really given any thought to the practicalities of working with ND people. And it’s ironic as we’re all about the strengths of ND people and how to support them which feels like it’s not really helping her understand the actual problems we face. I think a training course is a good suggestion if I can make it without sounding like a bitch.

So I've had a response that says she used to work for an autism charity and so understands about different types of communication. But her instant messaging remains exact the same.

Luckily I have just got a new job so will be standing down from this post - I can't really cope with someone who just isn't listening.

You won’t sound like a bitch for identifying a more thorough understanding of ND and the ways it affects people at work as a priority training need for a D&I administrator supporting the ND programme.

Problem is that she's not listening. And isn't accepting that she isn't an expert. I am going to talk to her line manager next week.