What's the value of a formal diagnosis?

[AlwaysHopeful]

Hi ladies. Thanks for all the resources posted in this topic. I've spent a few days looking at a load of them and I've come to the realisation that I have ASD... I am 47 and in shock.

I was initially looking into ASD because my DD(14) counsellor has suggested that she might be struggling with her mental health because of autism. Now I'm looking into traits especially in women I can see myself so clearly in so many of them.

It's like I'm reprocessing my entire life through another lens and it's completely floored me. All the stress and anxiety and messed up friendships and irritation and isolation and confusion... I've spent a good portion of the past couple of days randomly bursting into tears which sort of feel like grief for my lost self.

But what I've come in here to ask is what the value of a furnace diagnosis is for a woman of my age. I'm pretty clear that I have autism (am autistic? Am neurotic diverse? I have no idea how to use the terminology) but now I can see it and understand myself a bit better, would an assessment provide more answers or just confirm what I feel in my bones?

For DD I'm clear that giving her the certainty over it would be a massive help to her avoiding all the difficulties I've been thorough, but I'm not sure for myself. I'm not big on wasting NHS resources or going through the motions if there's nothing to be gained.

Usually older people go through autism/adhd diagnosis privately because it's hard to persuade GPs for a referral when it's a struggling child let alone an older person who has gone through life and learnt a lot of adjustments and masking and has 'survived' so far. I think this is terrible and adults should be offered the NHS route but the reality is funding means it's very rationed. If you can afford it, I'd say get assessed privately because it would validate what you suspect, it would entitle you to adjustments and more rights at work/study, it would help others understand you better and might improve your relationships. You could access support for people with diagnosed autism that isn't available without diagnosis. It could be valuable information if you go through mental health issues or suspected mental health issues.

I don't think you would be taken seriously or treated as a person with autism just because you feel it in your bones. You might well be right but you need a formal diagnosis.

The assessment wouldn't be for answers. The report may contain answers. The diagnosis may give you answers about for example why certain things were harder for you than others or why some relationships failed or why you struggled with certain things growing up. It might give you peace.

Reasonable adjustments at work if you need any?

Ive found that it's made it easier to explain to people why I act in a certain way or struggle with things.

Thank you both.

Less able to mask as get older.
Legal protection now and in old age.

I was bullied by my previous neighbours and had to move because it made me very unwell. If I'd had a diagnosis then, the police might have been able to do more to help. As it was, everyone probably had me down as a crank, even though the harassment was serious and prolonged.

You never know who you might experience problems with as you go through life. Some legal protection is always a fall back, even if you don't routinely disclose your diagnosis to people.

This. The mental effort needed to mask just isn't available as you age. You also care more about what feels comfortable to you and less about how you should appear to others, this results in friction in life.

So yes I think a diagnosis is important. I think it's also important for your daughter so she can see how you have coped.

Often younger ones with autism don't accept self diagnosing from adults. They see it as fake.

They don't realise it only recently female autism has been recognised in the way it manifests itself. Being female and autistic before about 2017 often meant you were labelled with other disorders (co-morbid) but not with autism.

I was formally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about 4 years ago (ate 30s) . It helped me so much just to understand myself better and it also means I'm protected a bit at work as sometimes I need certain allowances.

While in therapy it was offered that I be tested for OCD. I declined because I felt like I'd reached a stage where a formal diagnosis wouldn't make any difference with how I continue to work on myself, and I felt I was collecting letters 😆

If you feel it will help you get the support you need and help you mentally then I'd go for it xx

Thank you. I think I'm afraid to, but you're right in it also being about my daughter. I've been on and off anti depressants and had so much counselling over the last 20 years. Maybe a diagnosis could have alleviated some of that.