Negative feedback at work

[Strangerthings4NW]

I changed career due to illness, from retail to office work. The office work is very corporate, which I mentioned in the interview may be an issue for me as I can get quite talkative.

I am now almost 9 months into the job and have made lots of friends and really enjoy my work. However I have made a few faux pas with senior managers/CEOs. Nothing to extreme or inappropriate just making light of situations when I should be serious. With my line manager giving me a look of disappointment/be quiet.

I havnt been given an formal chat about how my work is going or how I am getting on but my boss has now mentioned to me that I can be too loud and talkative in the office and friendly with the staff I manage. Since then I have tried really really hard to rein it in but I still make the odd silly comment especially if I get excited or haven’t had an interaction for a while.

I only received a formal ADHD diagnosis a few weeks ago (although it fairly obvious) so no one in my works place knows. I am now really worrying that I won’t pass my probation and I’ll be let go at the end of the 9 months/big project I lead.

Can anyone help me with tips to be more professional/quite/think before I speak type person before this completely destroys my new career.

Too loud and talkative can be incredibly disruptive in an office as it disturbs other people.

I would focus on moderating your volume and remembering that you are there to work.

drugs or caffeine if you can not get a prescription yet.

probably ask your manager for help.

(or, just remember not to be disabled eh... [sarcastic] )

@BlackeyedSusan I haven’t been offered any medication as the drug wants to try CBT first?! What effects does caffeine have? I fine I get quite excited when I drink coffee.

o am not sure he would be totally willing to help, and I am unsure as to what he could do. I’d really like an office of my own but that’s unlikely.

Anyone else?

As a long term goal could you look into a role or environment where it is more accepted and appreciated to be loud. Like working with children? Or a sales role? Or something that indirectly might help like a physical role that uses up some of that energy through physical stuff. I'm just thinking out loud.

There’s no way you will fail your probation if the worst that’s happened so far is a few looks and one comment from your manager. They would need to show this had been raised with you several times and hadn’t improved so please don’t worry about that. I think what would be a good idea is disclosing your recent diagnosis and letting them know you are still finding your feet with it and exploring ways to manage your need to talk/react in inappropriate situations. This will protect you down the line and show them you are willing to work on yourself.

I would focus on moderating your volume and remembering that you are there to work.

How?

@stanfi I am trying to control my talking/volume, I’ve tried a few things, it’s just times I just can’t control it! I know I am there to work, I get my work done, I just get distracted a lot.

Am back in work today and feeling very unsteady. I am trying really hard not to engage with anyone unless necessary.

how do others cope with these traits??

Oh OP beware of masking. It could lead to a really bad episode (this happens to me).

Firstly have you considered disclosing to your manager your diagnosis?

How long is your probation? Have they sent you through any documentation about their perceived failings?

Im loud and talkative. I get it.

@Newjobformoremoney I am pretty sure I do mask sometimes because I can feel myself almost hid and it’s so exhausting, at the weekend I feel like I am in recovery mode. Although I can be quite annoying at home too.

today went quite well, the boss isn’t back until Thursday so I have some time to process speaking to him about this.

There are other people in the office that speak very loudly, the fact that it’s a huge open plan office does it no favours as people speak over to each other rather than email/call.

My probation is up quite soon and I know I am falling short somewhat with expectations on the social side at least.

Tell your boss about your diagnosis. They cant fire you for something related to your disability. Are you in a union? If not join one.

I really feel for you OP, I have been very similar in the past and I can still be quite inappropriate if I am tired or stressed out.

Personally I would limit caffeine (too much makes me jittery) and work on keeping yourself calm. Meditation via something like the Headspace app can be good.

Good luck to you

Please tell your boss about your diagnosis. I have a member of staff who was recently diagnosed with having ADHD. Knowing has made it much easier to help her, not least with a referral to OH, who were great, but also sitting down with her for a long chat about triggers and coping mechanisms for her.

I would tell your line manager but I would also take a look at eg ADHD foundation to see if there are any work related support ideas so you have something to go in with about things you may need.

@NDLawyer yes I also get really excitable with caffeine and especially if I am tired or moody, it’s so much worse.

@MadameFantabulosa you sound like a fantastic boss, my boss is lovely but I just don’t know what to expect from him. I suppose I am worried he might look at me differently or judge me.

@ENoeuf thank you I will look into that.

its not true that you cant fail your probabtion unless they have warned you etc the whole point of a probabtion period is to check you are a good fit. What they cannot do is discriminate against you for a disability so I would ensure you have informed them of your diagnosis