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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

I think my son is autistic

3 replies

FLOWER1982 · 23/05/2022 21:30

Hi
to cut a very long story short, I have 4 members of my family (2 adult siblings and 2 niece/nephew) who have in the last few years been diagnosed autistic. I have come to realise I am, it is so obvious now. I suspect my mum and other sibling is too although I don’t think this has ever occurred to them.

My son has always been different, a happy little boy but no doubt a ball of energy and in a nice way exhausting. When I had my daughter it was a shock as she was so different and ‘normal’.

He’s 6 now and since starting school I strongly suspect he is on the spectrum. I did raise it with his teacher as I had concerns but she acted surprised and said he behaves so well at school and questioned my parenting.he Sits for carpet times, obedient, is doing so well. But I can see so much of myself in him. He really really struggles socially and is so immature. He is hard to try and have a conversation with or get anything out of him. He appears to not know what to say so just shouts out random words or makes noises. He is hyperactive although this has calmed down a little since he was younger. He can get so angry and aggressive.

he can be very sweet and loving, but I can see how he struggles. He went to a birthday party Saturday with a entertainter. It was so loud and structured, he looked so uncomfortable and lost. He didn’t interact with his friends and sat by himself.

I don’t know what todo, it’s bothering me so much. Do I persue this? His teacher is not the most approachable. What will he get if he is supposedly doing well at school and not causing problems? My husband is no help and just dismisses it saying he’s immature but I recognise so much of him in myself. I feel so bad.

can anyone advise?

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 23/05/2022 21:59

Yep it's always the parenting, until they are diagnosed.... (Might be holding a grudge or four)

List:
social difficulties
Routines that are fixed such as always needs things a certain way.
Sensory issues.

Developmental history (no waving, not putting arms up to be lifted up etc. )

Take lists to GP and ask for a referral

Does he go to any clubs/place of worship etc?Ask a leader to observe him as well if school is a bit shit at spotting difficulties. (Or denying anything)

NameChange30 · 23/05/2022 22:10

Trust your instincts.
Masking at school is very common.
Look up the NICE guidelines about autism in children, make a list of the behaviours that you think are relevant, and talk to the GP.
You could also ask to talk to the SENDCo at school if you feel the teacher is not taking you seriously.
There is also the SENDIAS service at your local county council (look on their website) who should be able to advise.
If you're really not getting anywhere, and if funds allow, you could consider a private OT assessment. It's cheaper than a full autism assessment and might help you get taken seriously.

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