How do you feel about your birthday?

[AlternativelyWired]

I'm not a fan. I feel like they should be a big something but I find them stressful and won't open gifts in front of anyone except my dc and mum and that's a push. I find cards weird, gifts stressful to receive yet love to give gifts. I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and don't know how to react or what to say when anyone says happy birthday. I wake up full of trepidation and go to sleep feeling sad. Is this a common thing or just me being odd?

I tend to feel anxious because the day should be special, but if something isn't right and it's spoiled, I feel it disproportionately. I've spent a few birthdays crying myself to sleep because something has gone wrong.

I don't have a social circle so only receive cards/gifts from my family which tend to be things I have explicitly requested, so it's straightforward to thank without having to consider what is an appropriate level of delight/surprise to display.

The only thing with 'happy birthday' is that I often find myself accidentally saying it back to the other person, whose birthday it obviously is not.

Yes weird and anxious all day and very relieved when it's over! Don't like Christmas either.

I find my birthday stressful so I deliberately keep it low key now. A couple of small presents at most and a meal out with my DH and kids. That’s it. One of the problems I have is never knowing how to thank people for gifts, especially if I don’t particularly want or like what I’ve been given.

I hid under the bed at my own party as a child and people would ask my mum what was wrong with me and why I wouldn't open presents.
I feel under a lot of pressure to make the most of the day and if I don't have time to do everything then I feel let down. I want it to be perfect yet have no idea of what perfect would look like.

I still remember what my autistic sister said on her 15th birthday when we did her a little birthday tea.

'An unwanted present is still a shock you know'

She can't deal with the unknown. She has to know what her birthday presents are. She has to know exactly what will happen in advance.

I've had the exact same present from her for the last 40 years. Every single birthday it's the same.

I have two autistic children. Times are better now that the 1980's as we have Amazon. My children get a budget. They send me links. I buy and wrap. Job done. No surprises.

We also only mime the 'happy birthday' song, no candles, they understand that celebrating their birthdays is more for their mother than them! It takes the pressure off.

OP, perfect is no pressure but having people you care about with you.

I get all precious and say it's family only. I usually organise a family trip - we've hired a narrowboat for the day, been kayaking and been away in a cottage. Anywhere but at work or at home where people can track me down. Presents are always from a list.

I don't like attention so I don't acknowledge my birthday.