I don't know whether to tell my new employer that I have ADHD after how I was treated in my last job

[Metabigot]

To disclose or not to disclose?

I long suspected I had ADHD but was only diagnosed 3 years ago. Since then I've had three employers and each one I have felt either discriminated against or made to feel different (one basically tried to help but made me feel like a specimen.)

My last boss treated me really badly, breached my RAs for breaks in meetings regularly and didn't speak to me about my condition just started suggesting solutions that weren't relevant to me in a cack handed effort to help. I was then disadvantaged in getting a promotion for 'not listening properly' in the interview (this is currently with ACAS as a pre claim for discrimination)

Anyway I've started a new job, I wasn't going to disclose as it's quite a senior role but ironically one of my team has ADHD and is very open about it and the company seem nice and respectful of her condition from what I've seen so far.

I'm just not sure whether I should disclose it or not as I've been made to feel 'damaged goods' before. And I work in HR, so please don't say to go to HR as I don't have that option. I think I can say I was waiting to settle in to disclose it and wait a few weeks but any longer it'll seem strange that I didn't mention it before. I'm so unsure what to do. I want to trust them but I've been badly affected by previous experiences.

I’m in the same situation, also work in HR. I wonder if CIPD or ACAS have any guidance? Or if any other organisations have developed a policy on disclosure of protected characteristics? Do you have an HR Business Partner for HR? Or a Diversity and Inclusion manager?

We’re you disadvantaged for saying you had adhd?

or how you behaved whilst employed, which was likely linked to you having adhd?

Interesting article

www.additudemag.com/slideshows/should-i-tell-my-boss-i-have-add/

Like you I have faced discrimination in the workplace. My last employer stopped offering me work the day I disclosed I felt I needed a RA, despite them specialising in working with neurodiverse individuals and there never being any concerns about my performance. You might have a supportive workplace now but the dynamics could change as new staff are recruited/current members leave.

My performance was good, no issues.

I lost a job opportunity for 'not seeming to listen properly ' in the interview which is clearly an adhd symptom. I was on a fixed term contract so I didn't lose my job as such just lost the opportunity to stay on.

They knew I had it I was honest from the start

That was for @tomatoandherbs btw... fat adhd fingers!

People don't understand neurodiversity. They see work adjustments as a tick box exercise and not much more than that.

I think you should divulge, but follow it up with an easy to understand explanation of ADHD and how it affects you, how its strengths enable you to be effective in your job (so you're not focusing on negatives all the time) and then what adjustments might help you. Give concrete examples.

Regardless of whether or not you decide to disclose, you still have employment protection in the eyes of the law and you can disclose at a later stage.

It is highly unlikely that “not listening properly” was the reason (unless you were gazing out the window and picking your nose, sort of thing)

it was the CONSEQUENCE of not listening that resulted in to you not being successful ie answering a question with an irrelevant statement

I wouldn’t…wait until (if ever) you ‘click’ with people at your new job and then take it from there…forcing it won’t make the situation better. Tho if you really really feel they are open and comfortable discussing the matter then tell them now x

You're being a little offensive now. I'm going to report this post. You have no idea of what's written on the interview notes.

Huh? Ok, report. I’ve pointed out in completely tepid terms… this it’s the consequences of not concentrating that results on an outcome such as not getting a job
ie if you’d appeared to not be listening by then answered a question with an incredibly thoughtful and incisive response, it’s unlikely fact that you “looked” like you weren’t listening would remotely be a factor in their decision

@tomatoandherbs it’s really crappy of you to tell OP that’s she is wrong about her own experience. She said what happened, I believe her.

I said “highly unlikely” not a fact

but surely, surely, posters can see that why in earth would they not renew if they’d been happy with performance previously AND had known of disability.

So what… now suddenly discriminating against the op despite knowing and proven good performance

or perhaps the other candidate was simply… better

@tomatoandherbs it sounds like you don’t have any experience of this kind of disability discrimination. You’d be amazed at how quickly and suddenly an employer can do an about-turn, even when happy before.

You are saying that what the OP says happened isn’t how it was. That’s not okay.

No
I’m giving another point of view rather than just accepting face value everything i read

This board exists primarily for the use of Neurodiverse Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

It’s not respectful to say it is “highly likely” someone is wrong about their own experience. Neurodiverse people are constantly unfairly treated as unreliable narrators, we don’t need it here too.

I agree with tomato and herbs, and see nothing offensive about her post. I suspect she's probably right. The fact you want to report is not good.

They may have said that. But it was unlikely to be that reason. The reason is most likely more complex.

I have a similar issue at the moment. Ds1 does not want to disclose his.