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Inattentive. Finger biting and where to seek help.

9 replies

23leaplo3 · 01/05/2022 23:05

Hello mnetters- you've been a really helpful source of information for most of my adult life and I've had a lightbulb moment when stumbling on a adhd meme. I'm really sorry this is incredibly long I'm prone to rambling when I get going!

I think I may have adhd - but I'm not sure. Firstly where would I seek diagnosis? Do nhs GPS diagnosis adults? And does medication help with finger biting (life long habit they're always bleeding/ covered in chewed plasters)...also does the medication stop those moments when you're really really into something? I end up researching until 3 or 4am on some random topic - I kinda love these weeks as I'm very productive and knowledgeable so I don't want to loose that part of me although I would like to go to bed and know when to stop the researching (it's amazing that there's others out there that do this!!). Or am I best carrying on with my anti anxiety medication?

A bit of background - grew up shy/ akward and highly sensitive- crying at school and being told off for not listening. I still struggle keeping up with what people are saying and I'll zone out if my husband is chatting to me I feel so so rude permanently. I disliked music or anyone playing the stero growing up . I struggled understanding maths, hated reading, no interest in any subject to be frank however I could tell you everything you needed to know about the breed of dogs....I was predicted ds in English but just before my gcses I became enthralled with a particular poet and this lead me down a rabbit hole which lead to A+ my teachers were perplexed and wanted to know why I couldn't apply myself like this previously.

I was (and still am) constantly losing keys/purse/ work ID, misplacing items, getting angry / sad over misplaced items because I'm on autopilot and I don't seem to be in the present moment. I always, ALWAYS find myself trying to find my keys and getting in a tizz when I should of left the house ten minutes previously. I prefer thinking about my latest "thing" to actual adulting (so at the moment for example I'm 'embarrassingly' knee deep in disney costumes and disneybounding I can be up till 3am researching) but my interests aren't constant they'll change and ill get lull weeks where I'm bored, restless and quite frankly fed up with life. I've had so many fines for the library for books due back too. Yet on the other hand I'm worried that I've just fallen down one of my many rabbit holes researching and it's just my every day anxiety throwing myself to finding similarities...Currently I'm working, I have two little ones and a husband. I do find parenting overwhelming- the noise, the clutter! I'm exhausted after work - I find chit chat conversations clunky - I probably shouldn't admit this but I have a little notebook with reminders of what I can answer back and what to ask people. I'll preempt a telephone conversation and write down the answers. I'm worried if I go to the GP I'll get all do you start the conversation?

Would a diagnosis help?

Thank you for reading lea xx

OP posts:

Galvantula · 02/05/2022 07:33

I took a rating scale with me to the GP.

I think if you Google ADHD adult self rating scale you should find one you can print. (if you give me a minute I'll be compelled to go find you a link though ๐Ÿ˜…)

Try to maybe make some notes about how it's affecting you if you can. I did get "aren't you just a stressed working mum of 3" but I was able to say a bit about all the times I forget things and let people down and the various things i struggle with. I was referred to the psychiatrist anyway.

Then the pandemic kicked off and I was obviously low priority so I couldn't wait any longer and went private for assessment.

It has helped me to know in not just a weird shit person. Being aware of things I'll struggle with means I can try to put specific things in place, always have a notepad, set a million calendar alarms, use timers so I don't lose track of time as much etc.

The medication does help a bit, I'm less anxious as my mind isn't churning as much as it was. I can start boring tasks more easily and get them done a bit more easily. I still collapse into overwhelm if life gets too stressful, but it's better!


iknowthismuchis · 02/05/2022 07:48

I think you might also want to consider autism? Sounds like you have restricted/ intense interests, sensitivities to noise and difficulty with social communication?


23leaplo3 · 02/05/2022 08:01

Thank you so much both of you ๐Ÿ’— I'll have a look into autism too!

OP posts:

iknowthismuchis · 02/05/2022 08:07

It's not ideal but it's frequently used in clinical settings and it's a decent screen

(Women with autism often learn to 'mask', to copy the social rules so often it can get missed)


23leaplo3 · 02/05/2022 08:35

Thank you for that link too. The more I read stories, anecdotes, experiences on mumsnet its like I'm reading my own life - I could cry with relief. I just thought I was slow, stupid and riddled with anxiety from day dot. I wonder why nothing was picked up in school? (I'm a 90s primary school kid) or during secondary school?

OP posts:

iknowthismuchis · 02/05/2022 18:49

It's frequently missed in girls, very very frequently - even now. I wish it wasn't but it is. And I think it's still sometimes missed in boys. I just think there isn't enough known about it.

It's so sad to hear how you've always thought about yourself. You're none of those negative things. Neurotypical people (those without autism, adhd, etc) are just born with a natural advantage, that's all.


Thisweeksdrama · 03/05/2022 10:16

I can relate to much of what you say, OP. I sent the GP a 'right to choose' referral letter in order to get on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment but I haven't confirmation of them having received and sent on the letter despite following up twice so I think it might be a long road. It's frustrating isn't it.

I don't have the finger biting thing but I do have a habit (that I've really only just acknowledged) of pressing two of my fingernails together forcefully so that one always splits in the same place. I do it almost constantly if my hands aren't engaged.


Galvantula · 03/05/2022 20:18

I always chewed bits of skin on my lips ๐Ÿ˜ณ I had no idea I was doing it when I was anxious, but DH would notice and say "have your been biting your lips again?".

I do it so much less since being on the ADHD medication. Still occasionally when I'm stressed I'll noticed I'm doing it a bit.

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