Autistic Shutdown

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

I can feel myself slipping into an Autistic Shutdown. It's different to a meltdown. I feel like I literally cannot deal with any noise, my TV or Radio being on, my much loved cat being near me, everything is competing. I usually struggle to deal with competing noises anyway. Cannot deal with two voices at the same time..

My only comfort tonight is being in my garden and breathing while I hear the birds gently chirping. If anyones voices appear above my fence or loud cars, then I just have to cover my ears and shout Fuck off, Fuck off, Fuck off.

I really really wish I lived on my own island.

Dreadful isn't it. I think I'm going to be getting there myself over the next few days. My coping mechanisms are shot and I'm having to navigate a lot of change. I've started having anxiety attacks so it's only a matter of time.
My only advice is to roll with it, don't try and push through. I'm using headphones and sunglasses constantly at the moment and trying hard to avoid triggers.

Fingers crossed its short lived when it comes 🙏

It's totally horrible when this happens isn't it? I find it's best to prioritise self care when this happens. Are you perhaps sickening with a virus? I was like this a few days ago then have developed a bug and have been unwell.

I hope you feel better soon. I definitely agree that being around nature helps 🌿🌱🌳🌷🦋🐦

I did the Euromillions on Tuesday night in the hopes of winning and buying a remote property. I quite liked this one... www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/122321726#/?channel=RES_BUY

I did not win :(

😥

Maybe next time 🤞

Awwwww....

Sometimes I think all you can do is roll with it. Do you have kids ?

A bad shutdown for me involves losing the ability to speak. That's very rare nowadays, but sometimes I speak very slowly, as if I'm wading through glue.

Sometimes I have to have a break - I can handle talking to DP but that's it; had very difficult few day's with MIL accusing me of everything and trying to start arguments - how about 'you put wet towels in my room!' as a mild example, because of the dementia there is no reasoning and I just closed down and have avoided everything but the necessary cooking and cleaning; meanwhile I am hiding in the garden, listening to the birds (so peaceful, isn't it, even heard a cuckoo up in the woods a few days ago, possibly a stopover migrant) and planting some veggies and salad in troughs for summer.

Same with the losing ability to speak. I find it so difficult to find the words I need and I slur my words and get a stammer.
A long sleep usually improves that symptom for me.

How are you today?

Hello all

The long weekend seems to be helping.

For me it just gets to the point where communication is just too overwhelming. So I can deal with my DD. But that's it. Nobody else. Had to navigate a few appts this week (medical ones which went well) but even though they were successful, they left me drained with nothing else to give.

I'm limiting communication and seeing my Mum for an hour every other day. I think as well, I need to be clear regarding Peoples Fucking Expectations. For example, it's my birthday later this month. My friend has already started bombarding me with details of concerts etc (she knows I can't and won't go. She knows it's probably more for her own benefit than mine. Yet she dresses it up as her wanting to treat me)

I typed a message to her saying "thanks for the info, but I'm not really interested in X and also not capable. Can you please stop doing this as it stresses me out and makes me even more acutely aware of my disabilities" I now need to send that message. I've a feeling she's already bought tickets to some godfosaken dreary pish, but hey ho that's her luck out for the fourth year running.

I hate peoples having high expectations of me. Hate it. I ask nothing from anyone, just to be left alone.

Sorry for the ramble, chaps.

Hope everyone else is dokng ok this weekend x

Glad to hear you're okay and doing what you need to do in terms of limiting contact with people and ensuring you have time and space to yourself. It's really important and people just don't understand. Your friend sounds like she's expecting way too much 😥 I don't know what you can do about that if you've already explained to her that you're struggling.