Internal stutter? Internal monologue obsessing on sounds?

[thebeespyjamas]

Hi all. I'm 40, and sure as sheep I have ADHD and possibly autism.

Does anyone else have this internal stutter?

I will describe as best I can.

When I'm talking to myself in my internal monologue (for me it's always a conversation between me 1 and me 2) I get stuck on a certain word, or the beginning of the sentence I am attempting to say and I can't say the words until I've tripped up on/obsessed over the first sound a few times to get it to sound "right" in my head.

Not sure I've explained it right.

Had echolalia as a child and school raised it but my parents were hippies and did not take me to the doctor when asked to, I could have been diagnosed but not sure they even did diagnoses of autism back in the '80s?

I am obsessed with language. My job is in language now and I have an innate aptitude for spelling, punctuation, grammar, and need it all to be perfect hence why I've made a career out of it, of sorts where I need to test English and IQ all the time and pass and get well paid work because I'm so good at it.

I think it's related. I find it strange.

Does anyone have the slightest idea what I am talking about?

I know what you mean and I do the same sometimes, especially if overstimulated.
I'm autistic and I think it's echolalia still, but internal.

Thank you.

I talk to myself a lot. I also say the same rhymes and phrases over and over and make up a lot of songs.

I have been struggling for about two years with something I think is similar. I hear a "note" in the background noise of everyday life - usually a hum from the fish tank/fridge/washing machine or whatever, and it sticks in my mind, which repeats it over and over again in various octaves until it takes over my thoughts completely. Sometimes I find myself humming it - just one note in different octaves. It's horrible and drives me mad. No idea what could be done about it

Ah sorry to hear that. I don't think I have that. I am VERY upset by noise though. Say, night time, I cannot sleep with any noise that isn't something my mind can "cling onto", so I can sleep to a movie or story or interview. I cannot sleep with a laptop battery humming, boiler, fridge, or white noise - I would have to sleep elsewhere if such a noise was going on.

It's upsetting isn't it? I also have intrusive thoughts about really not nice things and had medication at one point but I don't like how these medications switch off other things and don't take anything.

I have no diagnosis and no medication and thankfully I can cope but these things have been with me since childhood.