So distracted by my personal life that I can't focus on *any* work when WFH

[Tonkah]

(disclaimer - I do wonder if there's a bit of ADHD in the background - and this is more about ADHD procrastination than anything else)

Am I the only person who finds it simply impossible to get started on WFH when there is something else happening in my personal life? For example, I'm currently waiting for a mortgage application to come back. It's going to take about two weeks. I simply can't focus on work until it comes back. (I am aware how that sounds.) Instead I am googling everything that could go wrong, thinking up Plan B, thinking about the worst case scenario, researching the lender's acceptance rate etc.

Another example - I am undergoing infertility investigations. So of course, I spend my days hyper focussed on researching every last aspect of it. And worried about what the outcome might be.

I just can't knuckle down to work 9-5. Instead I am having to work my evenings and weekends just to catch up on deadlines. All the while feeling massive levels of guilt (and exasperated self-talk) all day long for being so useless.

Am I the only one?

Thinking about it this evening and actually it’s not just work tasks that I can’t do. It’s personal ones as well, such as not popping out to collect a prescription or going to the postbox.

Yes me! I have gone back to the office 5 days per week and the process of driving into work and being in my workplace definitely helps but for really major stuff I still get VERY distracted… the fortnight before my wedding I was a TERRIBLE employee! Luckily my job is flexible enough that I was able to catch the week after our minimoon!

Being in the workplace certainly helps. Unfortunately they got rid of our office during Covid and now we don’t have one any more!

Yes I struggle with this so much! I don’t think it helped that I was furloughed for quite a while and got too used to doing my own thing.

I also find myself working into the weekends because I am short for the week due to my constant stopping and starting.

This might not be helpful but I find a good way to work is to work say 9am to 9.50am then just give yourself 10 mins till 10am to focus on what’s on your mind then go again from 10am to 10.50am. Those smaller chunks of work time are easier managed and although you will rack up a fair amount of ‘down time’ during the day it’s still probably better than the current situation (if you’re as bad as me!)

This one is completely impossible for me but it might be worth trying - starting work an hour earlier to almost free up an hour in the day?

I empathise with how frustrating it is and the guilt involved. When I am sitting with the laptop open on a Saturday I just think WHYYYYY have I done this!! It’s just an impatience thing though I think - we find it difficult to shelf a thought to go back to later, we need to deal with it now.

Good luck!

Definitely not the only one. One of things I didn't appreciate about the office until I couldn't go at all anymore was the transition time. A time to stop thinking about home, a time to get to work, a time to work, a time to stop work so that you can get home, a time to be home. Went to the office today for the first time in many, many moons. It was superb.

If you're not sure about adhd yet, or not sure about meds yet, try to focus on what was in place on the days that go well, so you can try and repeat it.

Sounds strange, and dead simple, but for me, the days that go well usually start with a cup of green tea (matcha mint or green tea w/mint) rather than coffee. Also if I walk my youngest to school (20 mins round trip). Nothing that would impress an athlete but the day always seems to go better if I get that in.

Look for little things like that while you're weighing up whether you fall under the adhd umbrella.