Son with suspected ASD and meltdown today

[ofwarren]

I've posted a few times about my son who is on the waiting list for assessment. He's 7 (I'm autistic too).

I just want advice from those who's kids bolt or refuse to walk.

Today we went to the cinema for the first time since the pandemic as hes CEV. We were the only ones at the showing. He really loved the film and he's been asking to see it for ages but he ended up watching the whole thing with his hands over his ears. He was laughing and at the end said he liked it a lot.

When we got outside, we went for a walk on the beach and I'm now assuming he was still overloaded from the film as he started complaining and was snappy.

When it was time to go he refused to move, literally lay down on the floor. The more we asked him, the more irate he got till he started screaming and hyperventilating and then tried to run away near a busy road. My husband caught him and he started punching his dad and trying to headbut him. He was absolutely hysterical. He had to restrain him in a bear hug till he calmed enough and then he lay down on the floor, as white as a sheet with his head on his dads coat. Everyone was looking, a few people even stood to watch and one asked did we need them to ring for help

We managed to get him to the bus stop and luckily the bus was already there and he was falling asleep on the bus home.

What's the best way to manage an ASD child who refuses to move or bolts?

I've bought ear defenders in case he struggles like that again with sound. He really loves the cinema and it would be a shame not to take him.

What would happen if you just sat down with him and let him cool off for a few minutes? After a few minutes talk really quietly to him and suggest you continue with the journey because the sooner you set off, the sooner you'll be home.

Ds1 (adhd) used to bolt and I had him on a wrist strap until he was about six. Not for all walks out, but depending upon his mood. I guess seven is too old for that. I'd reinforce the importance of not running off due to traffic and risk of getting lost. If he's doing it mid meltdown then just try to keep up and retrieve him as soon as you can. I used to keep a hold of clothing rather than his hand which is easier to wriggle free from.

Ds2 (autistic) sat with his hands over his ears when we last visited the cinema. He's refused to return. He had a meltdown afterwards as well. I don't know why they have it up so loud.

Can he explain in simple terms what was the overload? Maybe the excitement of the film and containing that for over an hour was the trigger? Does he have any mechanisms for self soothing like being in a dark quiet space? Maybe sitting with him in the car very quiet for half an hour after such a stimulating time would help? Headphones to reduce the sound level may help, but i suspect its a full systems overload going on.

Refusing to move: wait it out if you can because that is less bad than what followed. Implement emergency procedure: in our case feed them.

Bolting, hang on for dear life.Mine was held horizontally, back towards me head on arm (because a headbutt to the face hurts) arms were held in the this position ( because having bits gouged out your face and clumps of hair pulled out hurts too) feet were free but pointed at space not people. Gently rocking until calm. Bear hug does it too.

Prevention is better than cure though. We had no choice but to take him to school. But looking at what you did, what you could have done differently helps.

(Writing from a point of having missed an opportunity to prevent a meltdown today due to my tiredness)

You needed to do something preventative after the cinema...

Easy to write from here. Harder to spot in real life.(see previous comment about missing an opportunity to mitigate a meltdown)

Sorry phone typing doesn't make sense

Yeah, we definitely didn't mitigate the meltdown. It was obvious it was coming but we were rushing to catch the bus when really we should have stopped and waited.

Hes never usually that bad outside. He's done it the odd few times but nearer to home, in the park where he's lay on the floor and flat out refused to move.

The people watching is awful isn't it. I bet they thought we were being horrible holding him like that. He literally legged it towards the road so we had no choice.

I’d definitely say that the excitement and stimulation of the cinema was overwhelming. Ear defenders are a good idea. I’m autistic and I wear ear plugs to noisy things like gigs because I always find it too loud…it’s hard to describe but it can feel like it physically hurts me when it’s too loud.

I would highly recommend The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. We read it as parents (DD is about to be referred for assessment for Autism/ADHD, I strongly believe she’s ND). It’s really great at helping you see the precursors to “explosive” behaviours and help strategise how to handle them when they arrive and how to prevent them too. It’s honestly been a game changer for us…both to help DD but also for me as an Autistic parent.

I'll look up that book, thank you. Sounds ideal.
I'm autistic myself, as is my eldest but both of us shut down rather than explode like he does. I understood sensory issues but these outward meltdown behaviours are all new to me.