I get tired of hearing how bad it is to be alone

[bucksfizzrock]

I get this pushed onto me almost constantly and it seems to be everywhere-the media, magazines, you name it really. Ever since I was little i have turned myself inside out to try to make friends and fit in, but people simply do not like me and I don't fit in. Telling me constantly how bad it is to be socially isolated just makes me feel 100 times worse about myself when I feel it is something beyond my control. How do others cope with this and just the general difficult of living in a NT world?

Do you want to be surrounded by people all the time, or deep down do you genuinely prefer your own company?

There are two sorts of people in this world, ones who need to be with others, and ones who need their own space. Nothing wrong with either.

@chisanunian I think I would like being around people if they actually understood me or were kind, but it's difficult when I have been bullied or rejected a lot of the time

I know what you mean. Are these unkind people your family?

Yeah sometimes it can be, also past therapists etc. I know maybe in their own way they might mean well, but it just makes me feel so much worse and I have tried explaining that to them

I don't have much experience of therapy but there is an element, with some, of trying make people "fit in".

I was shocked when I read "the Examined Life" by Stephen Grosz. He effectively admits he thought a patient who wanted to be single must have other issues.

I hope you're not finding therapy makes you feel worse.

whats wrong with being alone if you like being alone? are they writing from a NT viewpoint. an extrovert viewpoint? not understanding that everyone is different and has different needs and experiences.

there is nowt wrong with an online community if this is all you can manage or this is your preferred method of socialising?

Sometimes it’s better to be alone than in damaging or toxic relationships.

I can relate to this so much, it's difficult to be on the receiving end of bullying and being on the outside, I feel like I have become very introverted as a result of trauma associated with a late autism diagnosis

This is the issue, really, isn't it?

In an ideal world, I wouldn't be alone. I'd be happily enjoying the company of friends or a partner, chatting endlessly, learning things, just enjoying being around other humans.

The problem is that NTs have caused me so much hurt and damage that I simply don't trust them anymore and would rather be alone. So on one hand it's by 'choice' but if the choice is be alone or be around cruel, unkind people who don't understand you and don't want to try to, is it a real choice?