Being single/trying to find a new relationship

5 replies

HighVoltageBun · 28/03/2022 07:11

How does anyone else handle this?

I'm not diagnosed (yet) but I absolutely know I'm on the spectrum, as is my 10 yr old DC (they are diagnosed which is what made me realise that maybe, just maybe, that might be me too and I'm not just a fussy anxious weirdo). I was with my DC father for 11 years but we have separated 18 months ago which utterly crushed me and the thought of trying to start again with someone else is terrifying.

Obviously I know I don't have to start again and I could just stay single, but I'm so bloody lonely but also so terrible at going anywhere that I might meet someone! And don't even get me started on my weird sensory issues around sex (there is literally no way I can engage in oral sex, I mean just flat nope, and even kissing can be a struggle sometimes). But I do miss it...

The internet seems like a scary place to try and meet people 😨 I did try tinder but...ugh...

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 28/03/2022 14:50

Do you think you'd get on better with a ND person? Perhaps there are dating sites that cater to this now. I met dh online over 20 years ago. Don't lose hope. I think the free tinder, PoF type apps etc. are less credible than a proper dating agency where people are vetted to a greater or lesser extent. I think the men on the free sites are often just weird and nasty.

Original poster

HighVoltageBun · 28/03/2022 15:06

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

Thank you

I think I almost certainly would get on better with an ND person, assuming they accepted that thy were ND (I'm sure my ex is, but he won't hear of the suggestion ). Other people have suggested proper paid dating agencies too. I'm just not very photogenic, my personality is a vast improvement on my face tbh, so online is always going to be tricky for me!

I just have no time for the dick pics etc that tinder seems to be famed for. I don't even know if I want a full on relationship, just a respectful left-wing friend with benefits

I've spent so many years declining social invitations that they've dried up now and I feel I need to take steps to change things, somehow...

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 28/03/2022 17:59

The Guardian run a dating agency.

Could you possibly have your hair and some makeup done then get a local photographer to do a few photos? Not like a big shoot, just some with a selection of different clothes then you can select one for your profile?

Original poster

HighVoltageBun · 28/03/2022 18:22

Oh I forgot about the Guardian one! I tried that years ago when it was still printed in the TV guide and you had to phone a special number to hear your replies It wasn't a success but I wasn't really very bothered back then as I did have something like a social life too.

Yes I could definitely get some decent photos taken, I have a friend who's wife is a photographer and I'm sure she would help. I just feel so blimming awkward in pictures and have terrible teeth

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 28/03/2022 18:41

Can you get your teeth improved somehow?

Flip