Do you ever feel lonely

[Rewritethestars1]

Hi

I am married with 2 children but im pretty much always alone. By alone I mean looking after my children who have disabilities and complex needs. I don't have any meaningful friendships and don't have any family that love or care for me.
My dh works full time and when not at work he is also caring for the dc. The dc have sleep issues so gp to bed late. Me and dh are then tired and usually sit doing our own thing or one of us is sleeping. Its hard after working and caring for dc to have the energy for anything else. Weekends are spent apart taking on a dc each to clubs or whatever.
I work from home and always have done and I don't have any friends at work. I don't know my team well.

Often I love to be left alone but on occasion I do feel lonely and wish to connect with someone. Dh is a very quiet person and our communication is not great simply because I struggle to read his emotions and understand him sometimes. He's a subtle person too which is hard for me to read. I do love him and him me. We get on fine but we don't connect on a deeper level anymore.

I dunno what I'm wanting here. Do you do anytime help with this issue if you do feel lonely.

Amazingly I was actually going to make a post like this earlier. I can relate and feel lonely quite a lot. Though I'm very introverted and like spending time alone, sometimes I would like meaningful friendships in my life. I have always been the one supporting others and being the listening ear and I suppose someone you could call the friend who is just there until someone better comes along. My last so called best friend told me she "didn't need me anymore " after I was going through some hard times 2 years ago.

It can be incredibly lonely so I fully relate to how you feel. I also think our society has really changed and there is not that sense of community anymore which is sad

Sorry you are feeling this way too @Turkishdelightchocisace
I'm the same, always the one offering support but never having that in return. I'm always on the periphery of groups and I have accepted that.

I'm sorry you are both feeling like this
I find I'm contrary and feel lonely sometimes but then exhausted by company and am reminded why I prefer solitude or the company of just dc or one friend. I use music for company and my head is never quiet so it's rare I get lonely but sometimes it can feel crushing the loneliness.

It is certainly a lonely position to be in when you're working from home and caring for disabled children. I think I turn to being online to satisfy the need for communication with the outside world, but it's not a substitute for face to face friendship and just hanging out with people you get along with. I assume I'm never going to have wider friendships, so just try to ignore my feelings and concentrate on other things.

Thanks for the replies.it is hard as I too enjoy my alone time and socialising is exhausting so its a funny feeling.

I think I understand but it's difficult because I find describing any emotion really hard.
For me, I relish alone time but I do message my husband and my mum and tell them things about my day. They have both been quite distant with me recently and I don't like what that feels like. Is that lonely?
Like I said, I struggle to name feelings so I'm not totally sure. It just gives me an uneasy feeling.

I find having actual friends too difficult though as I can't cope with the expectation.

Yes a lot of the time. I think it's my inability to make connections with people. Plus when I'm alone I want company but when I have company I want to be alone!

I relate to this - the loneliness, desire for close friendship and the exhaustion of dealing with people.

I was in tears last night after a weekend that was too peopley. I kept getting flashbacks of snatches of conversations.

I had a number of best friends over the years - all of them creative, introverted and probably ND but no one since university. I miss those relationships. But these days I just don’t seem to be able to process interactions very well and I get exhausted.

I feel isolated at the moment. I'm self employed and mainly work from home. We live clos to where my husband grew up and he religiously sees his friends once a week. And sometimes sees his work friends once a week too. I have friends but most live far away and they are all individual friends. I don't have a group. I definitely don't have enough friends that I feel comfortable enough to just intitiate a meet up with.

My husband doesn't have a big appetite for deep conversations so I feel unsatisfied by him in that way.

It's making me look into jobs where I could work in a team. But I love my job, I just don't like that I work on my own.

Wow can relate to this. I get lonely but exhausted when being around people. Have friends that I could be my self around without being judged lol. I’m so sensitive to abs people don’t get that. Don’t reply to a message that literally leaves me feeling hated lol.
I find school run the hardest. I must come across a certain way as no one ever wants to chat 🤦🏼‍♀️.

I’ve just posted a thread about friendships and I can totally relate to this. Yes, I do.

Someone needs to create a dating style friendship website for ND people

You could select by special interests and tick boxes saying whether you just want to text or to meet up and how much contact you would like with said person.

I'd join a site like that!

I can't stop thinking about a dating style friendship app now!
You could have a bit on your profile where you can tick a box to indicate that you don't want to speak to anyone at the moment because you are in meltdown/burnout/non verbal so that you don't have that awkward thing of people asking are you OK and why you aren't texting.
They could just literally check your profile and see that you needed some space.

An app like that would be great, I'd love that 😄

@ofwarren what a great idea.

Sorry others are feeling this way too.

Peanut is a friendship app for mums.