Argh - office politics

[hoorayandupsherises]

We are moving buildings at work and are going to have to share an office (currently most of us are in individual offices). Fine in itself. But they've asked us who we want to share with! Argh, it's like being in school all over again. I am going to be the sad little weirdo with no partner that the teacher has to make someone partner.

All the people I get on relatively well with are closer with other people, so I'm pretty sure have already paired up. And I can't ask anyone cause this kind of thing absolutely petrifies me.

I have started crying about it as I'm typing. Just hoping that you guys will understand what a nightmare this kind of thing is so I feel less alone. Most people I know wouldn't understand why I find this kind of thing so upsetting, much as they try to be sympathetic.

It's like, I sort of don't mind being different and odd, until this kind of thing pops up to remind me how much I don't fit in?

Are there any characteristics of people you would not like to share with? Can you say that you are open to share with anyone so long as it isn't x characteristic. That way you aren't "picking" or being picked?

Oh, yes, I can imagine the feelings of dread and desperation this would induce in me. Having to be publicly acknowledged as the weirdo. It's bad enough in a training scenario where you are asked to pair up and there's an odd number - I always end up with the course facilitator.

I think if this were me, I would just say I was open to share with anyone and see what happened - let them sort me out a 'partner' or give me my own office (which I would much prefer to sharing with one person).

Total sympathy. My stomach was in knots just reading your op.

I think BoardLikeAMirror’s suggestion is very good - you come across as cool, and bring the bigger person, flexible.

I’d hate this. I’d feel like such a loser if not picked but I would prefer not sharing. Hope you’re okay, please don’t cry.

There's a few people who have a bit of a vendetta against me since a promotion and I have started documenting as bullying, so I don't mind saying that I do not want to share with those people if I get put with them, but I wouldn't want to say that straight off.

If I share with someone I don't like I'll go into sensory overload, if I share with someone I do like, I'll yabber on and on about my special interests oblivious to their social cues that they are not interested and need to get back to their work ...

Not sure I can articulate any of that in a way that will sound even remotely professional.

Are you out at work? If so, you could ask for reasonable accommodations (it may well mean having to have a broom cupboard as an office, but probably better than having to share a space in bad circumstances).

But sorry, that is very good suggestion @sillysmiles, I will try to say something like that tomorrow morning when I've calmed down a bit.

And thank you to the rest of you for the replies, I feel a bit better knowing this kind of thing isn't hard for me alone, although I wish you hadn't had to experience similar.

Tell management you need a private office. And enjoy the peace.

@AffIt

Are you out at work? If so, you could ask for reasonable accommodations (it may well mean having to have a broom cupboard as an office, but probably better than having to share a space in bad circumstances).

No, I'm not, which I am regretting at the moment. Part of my problem is that I was diagnosed in a different country to the one I'm living in, so would have to go through the process again. I have ASD and iADHD so it's a bit of a miracle I managed to get through once!

I have just tried looking for online diagnosis. I will try to follow up on this anyway, as it would be good to have the option, even if I never used it.