As a child though I had friends I grew up with, I was always a target for bullies which I think partly really affected by self esteem from a very young age. This continued the whole way through secondary school aswell and even within my immediate family, I was rejected by my sister from the very time I was born and she has always been ashamed of my neurodivegence.
As an adult who is now in my late 30's, I still struggle with it all big time. I take an interest I people and their lives when I join things, but it's almost like some people can sense that I'm different and literally look at me like I have 2 heads. Sad to say lockdown life wasn't any different for me than normal life is.
A lot of the time I can cope with things ok but have always been hassled by therapists about how being alone is bad for me, almost like I am isolating by choice when I have tried time and time again to put myself out there but I just face rejection and more of the same bullying. Anyone else deal with this or get the sense of why it actually happens?