Sensory overload. How does it feel to you?

[ofwarren]

I'm sat in the bedroom wearing headphones and sunglasses trying to calm down.
Next door cut their lawn for the first time this year, which is always a trigger for me, then my kids started fighting over a computer game and after that they are laughing so loud at another game and I really really can't cope with the noise anymore.

I start to feel exhausted, my eyes look puffy and heavy, everything looks too bright, sounds are jarring and i try to put my fingers in my ears. I'm snappy and irritable and I start slurring my words and feel like I'm going to cry.
I clench my teeth so hard and my mouth is really dry.
Every sound is like an assault on my ears.

Can you attempt to describe what it feels like to you?

My cheeks are hot with red patches on them like when you have a temperature. I don't have a temperature though.

It's a feeling of panic and I can 'see' noises closing in on me - they're sort of jagged - it's like being tossed about on a rough sea.

I get overwhelmed with murderous rage and have a meltdown. If one future Christmas you read in the news that an old autistic lady has axe murdered her neighbours over their hideous house and garden covered in massive, randomly flashing chaser lights - it will be me!

@Babdoc

I get overwhelmed with murderous rage and have a meltdown. If one future Christmas you read in the news that an old autistic lady has axe murdered her neighbours over their hideous house and garden covered in massive, randomly flashing chaser lights - it will be me!

Thank you for posting this.
@ofwarren
Your description makes me realise I have it easy. I noticed I was completely overloaded yesterday. Buying a car 😬, reading through the contract, hyper aware of the noise feeling hot thirsty, itchy and prickly all over. I got through by taking my scarf off and focusing on the words on the paper and noticed a big costly omission.
DH is also neurodiverse akd easily sensorily overloaded and just today when looking at a video he’d taken off the car said gosh the music was loud! He doesn’t notice the triggers just switched them off.
He’s watching football on TV, wandered off during the adverts and I sent him a jokey grumpy text saying thanks for leaving me with no remote and shouty adverts.
My cue to retreat with a hot water bottle v quiet radio 4 and Mumsnet, my self soothing.

Mine is an adhd thing -too many interruptions (especially after a day of being on), when I’m trying to get something important done. It’s trying to get flow going on very low energy reserves and other people keep getting in the way. I get a kind of static sound in my air (snow on an old tv) and then I feel like I’m going to explode - sometimes I snap rudely, or I cry but if my body literally blew up it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest because it feels just like it will.

My other one is triggered by a certain type of light. Slight nausea and then a panicky need to get away, away, away. I remember dh calling after me one time and being incapable of stopping myself speed walking away until I got outside. I pretended I hadn’t heard him - it’s too hard to explain.

It's how I imagine claustrophobia feels, like everything's closing in, I get panicky and anxious, like I need to escape. Also get the hot red cheeks, and chronic jaw clenching.

Like the tiniest little thing is amplified, and the inside of my brain is on an unbearable sped up loop, where I'm having 200 thoughts at once, like a mixture of acknowledgements of the things that are disturbing/bothering me plus intrusive thoughts, but also fleeting solutions (like turn TV down, you're fine, just calm down) but I can't grab on to any of them long enough so the loop keeps repeating and it feels like I'm losing my mind. Physically it's heat and itchiness and tingling, and bits of me not feeling like they're still attached.

The noise seems to climb inside my brain and there's no way of getting rid of it. It does feel claustrophobic. I feel helpless to make it stop and then I can feel either very anxious or start to get angry. Noise is my main problem.

My worst experiences used to be at work. I'd be desperately trying to do the drugs round in the care home whilst the TV was blaring out in the lounge, plus the radio in the dining room, plus the radio in the kitchen, plus people talking to each other and usually to me as well, plus the phone going 😖😖😖 absolute madness.