Anyone else find going to the doctor extremely difficult?

[kobacat1981]

It has probably been about 3 years since I have even been to a doctor because I feel so much stress and anxiety around going. I think any doctor I have ever seen has had a huge lack of understanding around neurodivergence. The last GP I saw put my ADHD down to "just anxiety" or depression and was not willing to take me seriously at all. Another was an extremely patronising male doctor who in not so many words said I was a failure for not being able to cope with small things and berated me for being on benefits (I also have a physical disability that he is well aware of).

Anyone else deal with just being treated horribly by the medical profession?

That sounds awful. And I agree that there is a HUGE problem with medical (and other professionals) understanding of ND.

My experience has been that I reach out for help, and don’t get it for one reason or another, but then I’ve spent what I can afford so I’m more stuck than I was before. I’m in ireland where a GP costs €55 and a blood test €30 and I just don’t always have that to spend on myself. These days I wait to see if something will get better, or if the discomfort is something I can get used to. I know that’s not wise but sometimes I just don’t have the capacity to handle the depressive effects of dealing with them.

@LadyCordeliaFitzgerald I'm also in Ireland and totally relate and the cost of seeing a doctor here is horrendous

I have a massive problem with doctors and have good reason to be. I would probably refuse admission to hospital if I became ill. I refused to go last time, but I'm still here. The only place I will go to is the eye hospital for a chronic eye problem. I find doctors to be closed minded, dull, lacking in imagination, patronising, dismissive, not particularly intelligent and unable to listen.

I tend to get told my pain is imaginary, or that it’s real but they can’t do anything to help me. Not sure whether it’s because I’m ND or because I’m a woman. It makes me very anxious because past experience means I expect my problems to be minimised or ignored.

Can you ask to see the GP who originally referred you for your ADHD diagnosis?

@StarCat2020 unfortunately that doctor moved to a different part of the country so I'm not able to see her anymore

That is a shame.

@kobacat1981 just wondering if you started this thread because you need to see a doctor now for something?

Do you need support/encouragement/ brainstorming?

It’s perfectly fine too if it’s just to have a wee rant!

@LadyCordeliaFitzgerald to be honest I need to go for a few different reasons but have a huge fear of doctors after being put down and criticised so much by the majority of them. It's like even the thought of having to go now sends me into full blown panic mode

I am a doctor - and I become very anxious at seeing a doctor.🤣
Some suggestions

• can you book an appointment and say you need extra time, so for instance ask if double appointment is ok
• write a list of your concerns and put an astrix around important ones.
• ask a friend or relative to go with you

-look at the first appointment with the doctor to be a planning appointment for your health - it will often be difficult for a doctor to cover lots things in one appointment but it would be good to make some strategies

• if you can’t face going and talking then write a letter to the doctor and ask them to read it at the beginning - I have had patients do this and it’s a really effective strategy.
• Having plan to tackle issues over several appointments takes the pressure off you - but also off the doctor - and is more realistic.
• doctors can’t do everything or know everything. In my area it is impossible for adults ( and very difficult for children) to have an assessment for Autism Spectrum, or ADHD for example.

General Practitioners have big restrictions on referral criteria and we are also very time limited. I wish you lots luck.

I have this problem too… I started the thread on vaccine exemption and it’s SO hard to get anyone to understand that autism is different to just general anxiety. As I present (or rather mask) to neurotypical standards, they simply never seem to believe when I have extreme difficulties in certain areas? At one point I was screaming, crying and stimming on the floor and I heard one asking my husband- “does she practice any meditation?” Yeah, it’s an autistic meltdown, this is not the answer.

And the doctors who try and get you to STOP stimming as if the stimming is the problem, not the coping mechanism!

Ultimately the only engagement I have ever had with medical professionals where I was listened to, wasn’t dismissed, belitted or simply not believed was my autism diagnosis. As I child I was held down and forced into certain treatments. And people think I have a needle phobia?!! Oh no, it’s SO much more complex than that? Why would I allow someone to touch or treat me when they treat me like this? After literally not having a positive experience in my entire life, why on earth would I trust this people around me with a needle or to do a smear test?!

I have found interacting with my GP surgery slightly better since covid because there is more online access. So, for example, I emailed my son's GP to ask for a referral and she sent me a text to say she had done it.

I am thinking of emailing in with a request for a referral for ASD / ADHD assessment with a list of symptoms, how it is affecting me etc. However, I have difficulties with executive dysfunction so I have been meaning to do it for at least a year!

Yes it really angers me that the very people we want to have on our side can treat us with such contempt. Yes, I get anxious at times, that's the reality of being a working mother who until recently had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. I do not however have general anxiety or depression as confirmed by a psychiatrist. Why is it on the rare occasions I see a GP I always feel like they're ten seconds from shoving antidepressants down my throat?! Want HRT? Have an antidepressant! Want counselling for PND? Have an antidepressant! Want your prescribed ADHD meds? Oooh no, you can't have those, they're DANGEROUS, they're not like an antidepressant.

I DON'T WANT A FUCKING ANTIDEPRESSANT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE FUCKING DEPRESSION! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Sorry. That was quite cathartic 😂

@LunaTheCat Your suggestions are sound, but they assume the problem is with the ND patient's communication, not with the GP's preconceived bias. I used to have an excellent GP, and like him, I'm sure you treat your patients as individuals. But too many GPs do not do that, and actively place barriers in the way of treatment.

Some examples:

• Double appointments not permitted, one problem per appointment, even if the symptoms/ potential conditions overlap.
• If I write things down, I get reminded they're short of time.
• If I know what treatment/ referral I need, I get told not to rely on Dr Google.
• In answer to almost everything, "Do you think you need to see your psychiatrist?" My current issue strongly points to rheumatoid arthritis. Still told to see the psychiatrist!

These are not problems that can be overcome by me changing my approach.

LizDoingTheCanCan Thank you very much for your reply. It is certainly given me some thoughts . The medical system was not devised with neurodiversity in mind and has not at all adapted to your needs - I am sorry.
Your GP sounds either rude or stressed - probably a combination of both.
I don’t practice in the UK ( which relives me greatly)
Some of my patients are neurodiverse - I am going to think how I can better meet their needs.