ADHD diagnosis - feeling bitter and a thousand other things

[TheSoapyFrog]

Hi

I formally received a diagnosis of ADHD (inattentive) yesterday and my head is an even bigger mess than usual.
I was really hoping to be medicated straight away, but I may have to wait 6 months for it. I was prescribed Elvanse and the doctor said he would mark it as high priority because I'm struggling to function.

I'm angry that it wasn't picked up on earlier. I know that it's only recently that they've realised the symptoms are different for girls, but I'm nearly 40 and I feel like the life I should have had has been taken from me. It was expected that I would do A levels and go to uni and get a great job. Instead I crashed out after GCSEs and ended up spending my 20s in a drunken haze. Now I'm a single mum in a council house with no job and two kids, one disabled and both ND).

Is it too late to get back on track? Will Elvanse help me with this? Will I be able to keep a clean and tidy house?

I've always been told i was lazy, scatty and lacking common sense. I never thought I was deep down.

When medicated, do you become the person you should have been or is the unmedicated ADHD actually me?

What is like to be successfully medicated?

I can relate to exactly how you feel. I have only been diagnosed within the last few months aswell and feel incredibly frustrated that there are so many things that I haven't been able to do. I too am waiting on medication so sorry that I don't have any answers as to what the medication is like. Sending you a big hug

Medication can make a significant difference, but you will still continue to process things with an adhd mind. The medication can minimise the difficulties though and provide you with a framework of support to enable your mind to function in a less chaotic way.

It can take time to get settled on the right dosage.

Thank you both for replying. I'm probably putting too much stock in the medication, but I just want the chaos and noise in my mind to stop, even if just for a little while.

I was diagnosed with the same in January, and I was fortunate enough to be able to pay privately (I think my local NHS wait was up to 2 years). I have started Elvanse. I found it a revelation at the beginning, the clarity of mind. Then I was disappointed I wasn't suddenly tidier, but the psychiatrist has talked about the tools I still need and directing my attention. I am doing reading about things that help. We are still adjusting the medication level as I noticed it wasn't working when I was premenstrual/menstruating and my head was back to chaos, I couldn't initiate tasks again, just wanted to sit down and the feelings of guilt and laziness came back. I'm getting some side effects (dry mouth, interrupted sleep, less tolerant at times) but will see how they go. It also works better some days, and its too soon to identify why exactly but so far i think sleep, types of food and exercise/non screen time seems to impact. Overall its making a big difference to me so far, being better able to do tasks, stay on track and finish things. I'm able to relax more as my head is not as full of bouncing thoughts. I feel more present which has a knock on effect of me remembering things, putting things away etc. I feel like I have more choice about where I put my energy, I assume because my brain isn't just constantly searching for the next dopamine hit. Sorry that was long...hasn't changed my general rambling! I hope your wait to try medication is shorter than anticipated and you find one that works for you.

@TheSoapyFrog

Hi

I formally received a diagnosis of ADHD (inattentive) yesterday and my head is an even bigger mess than usual.
I was really hoping to be medicated straight away, but I may have to wait 6 months for it. I was prescribed Elvanse and the doctor said he would mark it as high priority because I'm struggling to function.

I'm angry that it wasn't picked up on earlier. I know that it's only recently that they've realised the symptoms are different for girls, but I'm nearly 40 and I feel like the life I should have had has been taken from me. It was expected that I would do A levels and go to uni and get a great job. Instead I crashed out after GCSEs and ended up spending my 20s in a drunken haze. Now I'm a single mum in a council house with no job and two kids, one disabled and both ND).

Is it too late to get back on track? Will Elvanse help me with this? Will I be able to keep a clean and tidy house?

I've always been told i was lazy, scatty and lacking common sense. I never thought I was deep down.

When medicated, do you become the person you should have been or is the unmedicated ADHD actually me?

What is like to be successfully medicated?

Ita quite normal to have a mix of emotions after diagnosis, it will settle.

Its never too late to take steps. What becomes difficult as you get older is - you have less time but do not underestimate this, you still have decades ahead. If you do nothing because you feel defeated, nothing will change then in years ahead you will look back and think oh I had so much time!

My experience with the meds is that yes that absolutely do put everything in focus. I never realised how much time I spent having feelings about things and worrying how I came across. On meds that all went and it was just 'right what do I need to do'. The relief!

The other side of this is that you can feel over whelmed as you suddenly see what needs to be done.

Spend some time putting in place scaffolding, that is timetables for doing things.

I can't say you become a differnet person, but its like having the support you need to be you. It is possible to take meds and not do your housework and scroll your phone for hours , like hyper focusing on the wrong thing. So you still need to be in thr driving seat and direct your focus. But the meds help it feel less painful to get started. You get more confident from achieving more.

Also nutrition is really important. My focus is often terrible if I have not eaten well.

I actually dont take meds now but have learned a lot more about what helps.