Meltdown or tantrum?

[ofwarren]

I'm autistic and my husband has ADHD. I don't have meltdowns, never have, I have shutdowns instead were I go non verbal.

My 7 year old son isn't diagnosed with anything but I've had my suspicions over certain behaviours such as walking on tiptoe while watching TV, the way he holds his hands when walking and he can't sit down to watch TV, he just paces on tiptoe in front of it. He rocks occasionally when sitting and has an eye tic. When hes stressed, noises really bother him which makes him aggressive. It's really hard for me to notice anything non typical though as a lot of its normal to me.

He's always had these mega tantrums which are getting worse. I'm not sure if it's tantrum or meltdown because they generally happen when things don't go his way but he screams so much and cowers into a corner saying "I'm scared, I'm scared". He can literally tantrum his way into having a seizure (he has reflex anoxic seisures).
Today was just dreadful. He's really going to hurt himself at some point. He throws himself around while screaming and wailing, repeating what he wants over and over again. Today was because he wanted to play basketball.

It just seems so extreme and none of my other children do or have done this, even the ASD diagnosed one.

How do I tell the difference between behaviour and meltdown?

After the one today his dad had to carry him to his room as he started doing it on the stairs. I sat in the room till he finally calmed and he was shaking and hugging my legs sobbing saying he was scared.

Also forgot to say. He had a liver transplant at 4 months old and is on steroids for it.
He couldn't speak till 3 and had speech therapy.

I'd be looking at starting him on the assessment pathway. He probably is scared and anxious because he got overwhelmed and it frightens him. They do sound like meltdowns rather than tantrums to me.

@Mabelface

I'd be looking at starting him on the assessment pathway. He probably is scared and anxious because he got overwhelmed and it frightens him. They do sound like meltdowns rather than tantrums to me.

Do you know if they check for both ADHD and ASD in kids at the same time?
I know nothing about ADHD assessment or ADHD kids.

My son also growls when he's angry.
Its so hard for me to tell what is typical and what is not.
I tried doing one of the online tests for kids but they are focused much more on children with bigger difficulties. He's quite a social child and when he was at school he had friends there. He does try to be the boss and in charge when playing though.

I have an autistic growler.

@Blackeyedsusan
He also struggles with seams in socks and gets really annoyed if they twist. He also won't wear a coat and goes topless constantly at home because he's too warm.

I never really put 2 and 2 together till these horrendous outbursts started. Honestly, the neighbours must think we are torturing him the way he screams!

I'm going to ring the doctors Monday to get the ball rolling.

I spoke to my sons paediatrician today and he agrees it sounds like he's autistic and is sending him for assessment.
That's 2 kids out of 3 so far

The way to tell the difference between tantrums and meltdowns is the resolution of the upset.

If a child wants and object and the tears and behavior stop immediately that child has the desired object, then it was a tantrum.

Meltdowns are very different. To us, his over the top distress reaction about things not going his way is a clue that it's likely a meltdown, he's struggling with transitions or unmet expectations and he's all at sea and doesn't know how to handle the situation. One minute he was pootling along nicely expecting events to be 'just so' and suddenly, that's not happening and he doesn't understand why. His world has gone from being ordinary to being incomprehensible in seconds, One minute he knew what was happening, the next it's like he's being thrust into another dimension where everything's all wrong for him.

Sensory overload is another trigger for meltdowns.

Dealing with a meltdown depends on your child's need for any intervention. Some like to be held tightly, some like to have a safe space like a sensory tent with cushions and calming lights and maybe sounds, some like to be left completely alone and some like a combination of interventions. It's up to you to figure out what's the best way for your child.

I like this site for all sorts of interventions, here's their input about sensory meltdowns.
www.theottoolbox.com/sensory-meltdown-or-tantrum/