Help needed if anyone has time.

[PangoPurrl]

I'm really struggling today and am hoping for a bit of a distraction, or reassurance or something. The day started with the most beautiful lucid dream, but I then fell back to proper sleep and it turned in to a nightmare that I can't shrug off. I forced myself to get up but I've just read that Mark Lanegan died, spent an hour obsessively reading all the news articles I could find, and I'm devastated. I don't even know what I'm asking for really. Does anyone else feel more shock and grief when someone they never met dies than they often do over a person they actually knew? I feel really embarrassed typing that out as it makes me feel kind of inhuman.

I know what you mean on the death thing. It's not morbid, but an interest in people, and learning about them.

My aim for today is to have a little walk. Would that help you too? It's still windy, helps to clear the head. And mine will only be little, round the block, but just enough to reset and maybe start again.

Thank you, that's really helpful. I've been thinking about it and he's a musician that has been with me my whole adult life as apart from his first band, I love all his solo work and most collaborations. I read his memoir twice last year and listened to his most recent album a lot. I think I form 'relationships' with people like him in my head as I can control them, in that I don't actually have to interact with them!

A walk is an excellent idea, I have so much to do and maybe that will give me a clearer head. Or if not I'll feel like I've done something worthwhile at least!

It’s ok to feel how you feel. There really isn’t a right or wrong way.

I understand about those pure ideal relationships. I’m grieving a close friend and there’s such a complexity of feelings because she wasn’t distant or unattainable. She was real, flawed and frustrating (and wonderful for being so).

I grieved more “purely” for our family cat (particularly as I wasn’t responsible for the litter tray back then ). It is what it is.

I second the advice to get out for a walk - a dose of green and blue helps.

Thank you, you're right and I need to remember this when I'm overwhelmed.

I'm very sorry to read of your loss, and all the more appreciate your kindness in replying to me.

Aww, yes, I actually have 2 cats that have become child substitutes and I'm terrified of how I'll (not) cope when I lose them.

I didn't get out, or even dressed, but I managed to do some online training that I'd been putting off because I realised it would feel good to get it done, and it was possible to do it on autopilot because I've done it many times before.

Hope you have peaceful dreams tonight