Is this ADHD or just me?

2 replies

sleighbellsjiggling · 22/02/2022 21:56

I'm hoping I've posted this in the right place, sorry if I haven't.

I'm currently on medication for anxiety and depression, I'm taking Citalopram and have been for 6-8 weeks-ish but I'm not feeling any benefit yet. I've been feeling more and more like it's maybe not that at all and that ADHD might be something instead.

I've always been 'scatty'. My school reports were usually that I was away with the fairies and that I was bright but needed to apply myself. I was bright but only in things I was really interested in as my memory was rubbish and I couldn't retain any info. If I could make it up I did really well.

This has carried on through adulthood. I've always managed to hold down a job but I don't know how. Despite writing so many lists I just miss things, I procrastinate constantly both in work and out of work and am always looking for my next dopamine hit.

My brain never stops, even when I'm sitting down and zoning out I feel like my head is buzzing even though i couldn't pinpoint what I was thinking about. I frequently sit with unfocused eyes and it takes a lot of effort to bring myself back around to the real world. This has been happening since childhood.

I've been working tonight as I just haven't been able to concentrate in the day and have fallen so far behind. I realised that I can be really productive at night and have got loads done, I'm way more focussed than I am in the day.

Does this sound like ADHD traits or am I just lazy? I feel like my brain is working worse now I'm on medication than before but I don't know if I'm seeing something that isn't there. I dont want to be laughed out of the doctors if I mention it but I can't carry on like this.

There's probably more that I haven't mentioned but the more I've read up the more I've felt like I'm being described. I scored really highly on a quiz on here a while ago but maybe that was down to the anxiety and low mood (which has been pretty much life long)

Any help or advice is more than welcome

OP posts:

BachAndByte · 22/02/2022 22:16

Sounds as though there’s definitely something there that needs to be investigated. A lot of what you’ve put sounds a bit like me, and I have ADHD and autism (but I think what you’ve described sounds more like ADHD, although I’m not an expert!)

Citalopram was awful for me. Didn’t work for the anxiety and made me feel terrible. Really weird “buzzing” brain all the time I was on it.

Original poster

sleighbellsjiggling · 22/02/2022 22:29

@BachAndByte

Citalopram was awful for me. Didn’t work for the anxiety and made me feel terrible. Really weird “buzzing” brain all the time I was on it.

That's really interesting, thanks so much for responding. Are you taking medication? If so, have you found it helped? I'll maybe mention it to the doctor on the next review and see what they say. I have my first counselling session this week through work but I know they can't diagnose anything so it's probably not worth mentioning to them.

I do think some of it is anxiety related. For example I missed an appointment last week and haven't managed to pluck up the nerve to call to rearrange despite it being a blood test to see if my iron levels have improved. I just keep putting it off. But the rest of it should surely be improving by now if that's all it is.

I'm just scared that they'll say I'm being ridiculous and I'll have to admit that I'm just a bit useless generally. I'd love to just feel like my head only has the relevant information in and not every thought there is to think swimming around in with the important stuff.

OP posts:

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