Autistics and "age appropriate" interests

[ofwarren]

Since hitting the teen years, many of my interests would be looked at as being for younger people. Disney was/is a massive one.

Reading into it and it's extremely common for autistics to enjoy interests, wear clothing and act in a way that is seen as age inappropriate.

Why do you think that is?
Are we stuck in a stage of life where we were happier? Reminiscing our childhoods?
Do NTs cover up their true interests as they are seen as immature?

What are your thoughts?

Oh, interesting one! I think my interests have always 'ignored' age-groupings. I've lots of children's films and series amongst my DVD collection, and a large collection of children's books which I read just as regularly as adult ones.

On the other hand, as a child I had a high reading-age and lived in a messy house full of books, magazines and newspapers, so I'd happily read anything that took my fancy. I remember reading an article about child sex-abuse in a 'Reader's Digest' when I was about 6 (it was called 'Has your child been molested?') and being quite mesmerised/shocked by what could happen in the world.

It's hard to define what makes something interesting to me, but I don't think its intended demographic has anything to do with it.

not across the board. ds went the other way and followed the other kids at school and threw off anything babyish early. ex did the geeky computer thing. dd did secondary school science at age 6 as it was her special interest.

I think we are more likely to not give a shit about societies expectations, maybe because we do not notice them or we just don't see the point of following them. This is a positive thing in my opinion, but is probably seen as not so much so in the NT world.

I was similar really boardlikeamirror

You only have to read on here when people say they like Disney that other mumsnetters come on and say "grow up", "that's childish" etc

I'd happily play on the playground, in the soft play, do colouring, play with slime, read primarily childrens literature and watch primarily childrens films.

I'm wondering whether NTs just grow out of those things and lots of us don't?

and as for films aimed at grown ups, (adult films having other connotations) well, who wants to watch things where people get hurt or killed or are too noisy and violent and overstimulating, or.. probably not such a high proportion of ND people as NT people, maybe?

I'd happily play on the playground, in the soft play, do colouring, play with slime, read primarily childrens literature and watch primarily childrens films.

erm, me too.

Yes @blackeyedsusan I think that makes sense.
It must be more to do with us not caring about what society thinks about our interests.
I have literally no idea whats in fashion or whats 'in' at all, and I really don't care about that. I just like what I like.

A really good point about the over stimulating NT films. I'd never thought about that!
The films my husband watches are currently ones and I never watch them with him. Its just loud, full of swearing and sex and a lots with violence towards women. I don't see how that's entertainment.

I meant to say current films, like new releases in the film charts. Nothing obscure

To be honest, I think this is less a NT/ND thing and more a ‘stuck up boring twat’/‘not a stuck up boring twat’ thing. You sound awesome, OP. Anyone who judges somebody else’s enjoyment is a boring twat

@BlackeyedSusan

and as for films aimed at grown ups, (adult films having other connotations) well, who wants to watch things where people get hurt or killed or are too noisy and violent and overstimulating, or.. probably not such a high proportion of ND people as NT people, maybe?

Yes, I hate violent/gory films and things like car-chases, gun-fights and so on just bore me. If my husband is watching something like that I tend to be on my laptop periodically asking him to turn the bass down on the sound bar. I don't mind psychologically chilling films. If it looks like there's going to be a violent scene in a film I'm otherwise enjoying, I take my glasses off until the scene changes.

Some films I can watch time and time again - Toy Story 2 and 3 (not so much 4 and 1) Back to the Future 2, the musicals Billy Elliot and Cats. I usually prefer to re-watch an old favourite than to watch something new. I very rarely go to the cinema because I can't bear being stuck in front of a film I'm not enjoying, but it's awkward to leave halfway through.

The only time I go to the cinema is to watch new Disney releases. We always sit on the front row, near the aisle so we could leave easily if we wanted. We've never had to though.

@AledsiPad

To be honest, I think this is less a NT/ND thing and more a ‘stuck up boring twat’/‘not a stuck up boring twat’ thing. You sound awesome, OP. Anyone who judges somebody else’s enjoyment is a boring twat

Possibly. It just feels so stunted to not do these things because they are supposedly for children.
So many judgemental people about.
The looks I get just for being enthusiastic at the petting zoo! Everyone looking at me like I'm an alien just because I sit on the floor and feed the sheep grass.

If we go to an English Heritage (or similar) site and there's a children's 'interactive' activity (e.g. where you have to solve a puzzle or build something) I always have to do it. I think I'm impervious to any looks I get!

I haven't been diagnosed autistic but I think there's quite high likelihood I am. I love children's stuff - I collect Playmobil and enjoy setting up scenes with it, although I'd feel too self conscious to 'play' with it. I wear bright clothing, stuff like Frugi for grown-ups. I often get asked if I'm making a gay-rights statement when I'm wearing a stripey rainbow top. No, I'm not, I just like bright colours and soft fabrics! I'm not so much into children's films but then I don't have much interest in films at all. They're too long (although I can watch multiple episodes of a series of something!) and I tend to find them boringly predictable, and I hate guns/bombs/fast cars/kidnapping/general anger and violence and I'm not interested in other people having sex either. For that reason I tend to read children's fiction if I read at all. It seems much easier somehow to reread Jaqueline Wilson or Eva Ibbotson than to attempt anything new. I do listen to books aimed at adults on audible sometimes though. And yes to being very happy 'playing' - I was a pirate with the kids at the playground yesterday! It was just us but even if there'd been other families there I don't mind throwing myself into play around them. They can judge all they want (I had someone call 'Peter-Pan-Syndrome!' at me once) but I just don't care at all! The kids love it, I enjoy it and it's good exercise running around instead of sitting on a bench, and at some point (probably!) I will be too old and tired to want to so I may as well make the most of life now!

I'm also very nostalgic and think about my own childhood a lot. I have very strong memories of it. Maybe it's a comfort thing?

@SuperSocks

I'm also very nostalgic and think about my own childhood a lot. I have very strong memories of it. Maybe it's a comfort thing?

You sound very much like me. There probably is an element of nostalgia in there I agree.

I didn't have a very happy childhood though to be fair. My mum was good and I didn't want for anything but my dad (who I know now is more than likely autistic too) was really really distant. He would criticise me and the things I liked and in my teen years, the criticism turned to beatings as I rebelled against him.
So I think nostalgic in a way but not for my actual experience of childhood.

@SuperSocks

snap, we collect playmo too! We usually get the advent calendar each year then add more figures and move them into little scenes with stories until it's nothing like it should be.

DP likes guns/bombs etc and all the associated unpleasantness which I hate, there is enough unpleasantness in the world already you can find out about by just reading/listening to or watching the news every day. He also reads fiction about this - no wonder he has nightmares.

I do read a lot of YA books, I've just finished Jasper FForde - the last dragon slayer series. I am going to get buy the 'How to train your dragon films' soon when I have some money so I can enjoy them - and I still love the Pixar and Disney films. I also read the Greek and Roman classics and archaeology and history books, but one needs some relief!

There is nothing wrong with playing with kids either - I had five and then when they had left home later co-managed the village youth club, tutored and helped at the out-of school club - I love that children have such capacity for learning, it's such fun once you find out what works for them. On a thread recently we discussed how nice it would be for ND people to have grown-up playgrounds with swings, roundabouts et al

I think some people feel a lot of pressure to confirm socially. I tried for a long time and to my detriment.

Now I don’t give a fuck and do what I enjoy. Lego.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with childhood (though I did love lego as a kid) - I thinks it’s just because it’s so amazing in many ways: maths, physics, engineering, art, creativity etc. I still marvel at how this amazing thing was ever invented.

I have never heard an argument (though I’ve never asked for one) about why lego is only for kids. And that’s because there isn’t one - and neither are there ones for other hobbies. As long as you are hurting no-one, then doing what relaxes or stimulates cannot possibly be wrong.

I really don’t understand the social constructs and restrictions the human race appear to have made for itself. Absolute madness.

I really don’t understand the social constructs and restrictions the human race appear to have made for itself. Absolute madness.

Well said, I totally agree

Yes please to grown up playgrounds! I can

Sorry! I can definitely relate to a lot of the above. I also 'like what I like' and I think I'm pretty insular in my interests, as in not influenced by outside views on what is/isn't appropriate. My favourite things are cats and glitter, and clothing that features cats and/or glitter! The nostalgia for childhood (but not my actual one) definitely resonates too!

There’s a thread in active about grown men enjoying lego and 91% of the votes currently are that the OP was BU to find that weird, which is encouraging!

I have just been looking at the Lego website - Oh wow - a mint green 50's style Lego working typewriter - how cool! Way out of my budget, but one can dream! I had a proper old mint green typewriter that I learnt to type on when I was a teenager. It weighed a ton and typing on it made bang, bang, bang. bang, PING noises!

I love making models and have a miniature garden room that I want to build as my next project, cannibalised from a little greenhouse model that DP got me for Christmas.

@PangoPurrl

Sorry! I can definitely relate to a lot of the above. I also 'like what I like' and I think I'm pretty insular in my interests, as in not influenced by outside views on what is/isn't appropriate. My favourite things are cats and glitter, and clothing that features cats and/or glitter! The nostalgia for childhood (but not my actual one) definitely resonates too!

I also love cats and glitter!
I could spend ages watching those toys where there is glitter swirling in water.
We have lots of glitter paint too which is fun. I love the way the light bounces of it.