Confirmed diagnosis of ADHD inattentive type

[ReadingIsFundamental]

A few years ago I started to wonder if I could possibly have ADHD (mainly inattentive). I finally made the decision to ask for a private referral last March and, due to crazy waiting lists where I live even in the private sector, I finally got a confirmed diagnosis today.

I don’t know where to go next. Half of me wasn’t expecting to be diagnosed, I thought they’d tell me I’m just useless and lazy.

I’ve opted not to go for medication just yet, I want to discuss it with DH first. Part of me is so relieved to realise that I’m not totally worthless and useless, I just have a condition that makes organisations and planning difficult. The other part is gutted that I didn’t know this years ago, when I could have had help and support.

What should I do now? Any and all advice is welcome.

No advice as I've only just started on the road to diagnosis, but I wanted to wish you the best - I'm so glad your diagnosis has already helped your sense of self-worth .

Thanks so much @BoardLikeAMirror - it’s really bloody hard, isn’t it? Wishing you all the best for your diagnosis.

Go on the meds. They’ve changed my life completely. Instead of surviving I’m living now!

Really @YerAWizardHarry ? I’m struggling visualise how they will actually help me. Would you be willing to share which meds you opted for and how they have an impact for you? Totally understand if you’d prefer not to share but appreciate the advice,

Of course! Im on Concerta. My mind is more clear. I’m more energised, focused, motivated, organised. I’ve managed to lose weight for the first time in my adult life. My relationship, work life and parenting is flourishing.

In part I think the diagnosis helped- I was able to realise WHY I was like I was rather than just thinking negatively which allowed me to be more motivated without the meds but I definitely notice if I don’t take my meds (eg I don’t take them if I know I’ll be drinking alcohol)

I was diagnosed a year ago with combined type. The meds make a huge difference in my ability to focus and have a very positive effect on emotional regulation.
The knowing is also positive - I feel more positive about myself and can be kinder about my shortcomings!

Thank you both for sharing.

I hadn’t really expected to be offered a say in the medication - I thought I’d be advised what would be best and that would be it. Or that I’d be told I was just a useless, worthless idiot and to be on my way.

I hadn’t realised that the medication could help with emotional disregulation, that’s really good to know. I cry at any emotional or difficult conversation - which isn’t great in a professional capacity. I also shake and am astounded at people who manage to stay calm during difficult conversations or arguments.
I get stressed really easily and when I’m stressed I’ll often shout at my husband and kids.(it tends to happen when we’re running late for school - I get super stressed and wind up raising my voice to tell them to hurry up) It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the way my life has always been and I’m only now realising that it’s probably not the case for every one.

The psychologist today was talking more about how the meds could help me focus - and while that would be great, a part of me worries that I could wind up having my usual problem of focussing on the wrong thing. I hyperfocus on reading and so there’s a constant need to check facts on my phone, to answer any and every question that pops into my head and I constantly get distracted from the task at hand.

Congratulations on the weight loss @YerAWizardHarry - I have zero impulse control around food and have type 2 diabetes. I know logically that I must lose weight and control my sugar intake. And yet I cannot stop eating sweets and carbs. My brain just constantly whispers tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll eat right. I know it sounds very superficial to say that I’d like to go on meds to help with weight management, but I just don’t know that I can do it by myself. (I’ve managed it a couple of times before but then the weight went back in again and it’s left me feeling very dejected about permanent weight loss).

Sorry for the essay, but thanks for this space to process.

I don’t suppose it’s healthy, and my eating has been disordered forever, but the only side effect I have with meds is loss of appetite. So this may impact on weight loss for you.
I don’t focus on the wrong things when the medication is optimal. I really notice état night when it’s worn off though!

I’ve had my initial assessment for ADHD this week and have my follow up appointment in 2 weeks, which should start me on meds.

My doctor has suggested meds rather than coaching, etc, to start with - his rationale is that with the meds, it is easier to get the results you want from coaching and lifestyle changes. My brother also has inattentive adhd and started meds a year ago - his advice to me is that whilst the meds don’t solve every challenge, they get you moving in the right direction to make other changes.

I am organising some workplace coaching (a challenge in itself!) soon, but the meds have made a massive difference to personal/ family life. I have had counselling for years - which eventually led me to seeking the diagnosis - but really need a few sessions of coaching to move work issues on.

I’m on holiday for a week and considering not taking meds as normal. I have a long drive tomorrow though and they make such a difference to that. I didn’t realise how I anxious I was when driving before. I think it’s because of the constant forcing of the brain to concentrate on the task, while of course also letting in the multi-tasking/ multi-focus parts that you need fir driving. Meds make that much better. I used to get so irate with my kids in the car and it was because of the difficulty in focusing.

Also things like watching films, enjoying museums etc - if I’m medicated, these are so much better. By the evening, or unmedicated, I’m back to being unable to sit still, or walk round slowly and look.

@Eightytwenty
Similar work situation to yours, and being in a new role that meant powers of concentration and organisation were tested! My previous roles had really played to my strengths (I’m very good in a crisis) and this one needs much more planning and focus at times that suit others!
Many years of counselling, on and off hours of depression/ anxiety. I got to a point in counselling when we realised I wasn’t following through with strategies I was really keen to try. Just couldn’t act on them.
Psychiatrist diagnosed severe ADHD and I scored maximum in every area of the assessment.
The depression and anxiety, it seems, we’re likely a result of the difficulties I was having.

I would definitely be the same about reading and ironing! There are so many things we get used to that are part of the adhd. I hope we don’t get the usual comments on here of ‘everyone’s a bit adhd’ - it’s all the bits that add up together that make it disabling.
I can’t relax at all unless everything I ‘have to’ do is done. So never! Again, meds can help in that if I go for a long walk, for example, I can enjoy the walk rather than have my mind in a million places. Or a trip to the beach or swimming. But they can’t and don’t last all day. Night is worst as you can’t use meds so the hyperactive thoughts run free!

I don’t know where to go next. Half of me wasn’t expecting to be diagnosed, I thought they’d tell me I’m just useless and lazy.

relate to this regarding my asd diagnosis. good luck.

Congrats on your diagnosis @ReadingIsFundamental - I got mine today too (also inattentive, possibly combined) but have suspected it for a while. I found the Women with ADHD book by Sari Solden quite helpful, also Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg.

I empathise with the gutted feeling - I said this to my psychiatrist, like how much life would be different if I'd known 20 years ago. But it's useful knowing now, and being able to do something now. Also the food thing - I'm having a large slice of cake as a reward for getting through the assessment! I think recognising that it's dopamine seeking that causes the sweet food cravings means that over time you can work out how else to meet that need - like I eat less junk if I exercise more - but weight loss as a reward for dieting doesn't work because it's too long term so it's insufficiently motivating.

Thanks for helping me feel less alone. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but it’s good to know that others have benefited by getting a diagnosis and meds.

@Amber17, your words on weight loss make so much sense! Depriving myself doesn’t ever give a dopamine hit so weight loss is incredibly difficult.

I pursued a diagnosis because I was convinced my DD has ADHD and I wanted to get her help and support, but, because she is bright and surpassing educational expectations for her age group, her school won’t refer her to SENCO or an educational psychologist.

She’s so like me at her age - top of the class but loses everything, writes excellent creative work but forgets to put a full stop, reads voraciously but can’t remember to zip up her coat. I’m so worried for her future - I had the advantage of a very organised stay at home mum who helped me get through school, but my DD has me.

Now that I have been diagnosed, I’m going to use that to push for a diagnosis and support for her. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, if labelling her will be detrimental, I only know that if I had had a greater understanding of this condition, then maybe I wouldn’t have hated myself so much and for so long for being unable to do the things that come easily to neurotypicals. I’m sorry if that sounds melodramatic but I catch myself and my DH criticising her for mislaying things and being careless, for always being the last one ready for school every morning because she is so easily distracted. Trying to get her out on time in the morning really makes me sympathise with my mum, I was exactly the same and still struggle with timekeeping for work.

I’ve resorted to a couple of glasses of wine to help me process this diagnosis so sorry for bleating on. Thanks for all the advice and support already, it’s much appreciated.