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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

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Original poster

Noise and interference.

19 replies

PangoPurrl · 17/02/2022 10:51

Hey! I just wanted to start a conversation about strategies for coping with all the 'noise and interference' of the outside world.

I discovered this board yesterday and have felt so at home here, I've read through all of the recent threads and learnt lots about myself and others in the process. And enjoyed the cats!

I've been fairly sure that I have ASD/ADHD for years, and am currently waiting to see a psychiatrist re:ADHD, which is happening next week.

Along with the chaos of being inside my head the main thing that causes me almost constant problems is outside stimuli. I hesitate to use the term in case of causing offence, but I often feel like I'm being assaulted by all the noise. Unfortunately I don't know another way to describe it. When I try to explain this to people around me their reactions tell me that they think I'm massively exaggerating and/or attention seeking. It doesn't help that I often can't find appropriate words to explain what's happening. For example I was at a family meal last week and something was hurting my head, so I asked if anyone could hear anything, noone could but I eventually realised it was a tumble dryer- and was looked at as if I was being an absolute moron when I tried to explain the noise/vibration was literally inside my head, and causing pain. Is there a term/better way to describe this does anyone know?

Anyway, this is getting long, I'm sorry! My main coping strategy is to have music or the radio on at home, as I can have it on at an appropriate volume to drown out other noise/s, except idling engines or motorbikes! This doesn't help when I'm elsewhere though! I'm just so ultra conscious that silence is absolutely not a thing in my world and it's rubbish!

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 17/02/2022 11:28

That's why I bought my earplugs. I'm very happy to have the world pushed back. Music in shops is a particular difficulty of mine.

There's a few different types of noise reducing plug now.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 17/02/2022 12:46

Yep

I think I'm going to have to go for the earplugs too. Seems like the way ahead. I too feel like I am being assaulted by noise. And yes, I hear every little hum. Cars idling are the worst. I've lived here for over 10 years and there's a chap across the road who does it constantly. He also Revvs the engine. Repeatedly. As does a person on the school run too. I spend my time muttering obscenities at people so perhaps time to take action for me

I was once told by a Psychiatrist years ago (the "Hmmmm" head tilty type you don't come across so much any more thankfully) "You are placing too much importance on the sound" How I didn't tell him to eff off is beyond me. I would now.

BlackeyedSusan · 17/02/2022 12:55

some noises hurt. physically actual pain in ears and sometimes neck.

ds was existing too loudly the other day and driving me batshit.

Cailleach · 17/02/2022 13:56

I've recently bought myself a pair of Flare Calmer ear plugs which really help me to filter out unwanted noises. Worth a try.

ofwarren · 17/02/2022 14:23

I don't like in ear earphones so I stick with the over ear ones.
I agree about revving cars being a huge trigger. Idling cars and motorbikes, lawnmowers and power tools really set me off.

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 17/02/2022 15:16

Ah, Instagram keeps showing me ads for noise reduction ear plugs. I just need to bite the bullet and try some. Money is an issue as I'm currently living on PIP and craft selling, and I've been stymied by indecision about which ones to try as I know 'regular' ear plugs feel horribly uncomfortable to me, so worried about the potential waste of money.

Is it a thing that they cut out noise that we need to hear? I'm partially deaf (around 1/4 loss in one ear 1/3 in other) so feel scared to make this worse when I'm already having to concentrate hard when out.

I have a teen neighbour that turns on his motorbike then leaves it for 10 minutes all times of the day and night, I could just scream some days. Idling buses are the other thing that I feel inside my head even when they're a way down the road.

On a positive note I'm so very grateful that I love all kinds of music and can use it to filter out most neighbourhood noise, as I get the impression that a lot of people with similar intolerances to mine can't cope with any noise at all sometimes.

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ofwarren · 17/02/2022 15:45

I wonder if there is anywhere you can go to test them? Or if there is a money back guarantee type thing.

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 17/02/2022 17:44

Hmmm, worth a look! Even if the thought of putting things in my ears that have been in other people's really grosses me out 😹 Money back guarantee may be a goer though! Will do some research when my brain lets me do the useful thing rather than the fun/easy things that are placating my internal instant gratification monkey!!

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LilyRed · 18/02/2022 11:10

A lot of us own 'Loop' or 'Flare' earplug brands - I have the 'Loop quiet' ones - it's heavenly, no horrid screech of background noise where I hear everything and it slowly drives me up the wall until I stim like mad and get really angry, just peace and calm with just enough sound to hear if someone talks to you! (you can choose to ignre them )

When you buy them, the Loops come with lots of different sizes of the plug bit that goes in your ear so you can try them all out. You can also get foam plugs too as they are more comfortable to sleep in.

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 18/02/2022 20:52

Thanks so much everyone! I hadn't actually looked yet as couldn't face having too much choice to filter through. Your post convinced me @LilyRed as just having 2 brands to look at was doable, and it hadn't occurred to me that they would come with more than one size. So I have some Loop ones arriving on Monday. Fingers crossed!! (And toes etc!)

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ofwarren · 18/02/2022 21:24

@PangoPurrl

Thanks so much everyone! I hadn't actually looked yet as couldn't face having too much choice to filter through. Your post convinced me *@LilyRed* as just having 2 brands to look at was doable, and it hadn't occurred to me that they would come with more than one size. So I have some Loop ones arriving on Monday. Fingers crossed!! (And toes etc!)

Great! Let us know how you get on

LilyRed · 19/02/2022 00:29

@PangoPurrl I hope you will find they suit you! I find when you insert them it is better to warm them up as cold earplugs are a bit uncomfortable!

(umm, probably not hygienic, but I pop them in my mouth for a few seconds with the loop parts hanging out) If you don't like the idea of putting them in your mouth, use a glass of warm water and dry off before use

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 19/02/2022 18:36

Will do!

Ah, I'm running hot right now (yay peri-menopause!) so cold may be nice! Mouth tip sounds good though, if they're too cold, thank you!

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LilyRed · 19/02/2022 19:37

@PangoPurrl Ah I can help you too there with the mad hots (I'm just about post meno, but still get them)- I got DP to get me one of these for Christmas HERE I love it!

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 20/02/2022 22:42

Oooh, thanks @LilyRed that looks brilliant. Right now the being warm is actually mostly great, coupled with it having been a pretty mild winter this is the first year in my living memory that I haven't struggled with being freezing for the last 3 months 😹 I'm fully aware that by the time summer arrives I'll probably be 'enjoying' the full on hot flushes rather than mild/just about manageable ones, along with some lovely night sweats though!

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VioletLemon · 20/02/2022 22:55

I know what you mean. It's sensory processing, like how some people get motion sickness from being in a moving vehicle. Same kind of thing, your brain struggles to process some stimuli. I have to turn tv off at the plug or it vibrates!

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 21/02/2022 01:02

@VioletLemon

Yes! That's such a good example, the kind of low level 'buzz' that is intolerable to some yet completely not on others' radar!

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Featuredcreature · 21/02/2022 08:40

I know what you mean, I used to work in mcdonalds and was always shoved on the order/cash taking window of the drive thru. Sometimes it was actual fucking torture, bing bongs going off in my ear due to the headset every few seconds, screechy chart music going constantly, the constant beep beep of timers, people shouting. No idea how I used to do it tbh. I'm slightly deaf, had many ear infections as a kid and was due to have grommets but my ears cleared up and it was cancelled. Reluctant to even try to get it sorted because I think I would actually hate having better hearing

Original poster

PangoPurrl · 21/02/2022 13:16

Oh my goodness, yes, that does sound like actual torture, even just one of those noises would be bad enough, but all together, ouch! Also partially deaf due to recurrent childhood infections (and probably exacerbated by too many loud gigs as a teen 😳) and always wonder if it's a good or bad thing in terms of whether it helps with filtering certain noises out?!

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