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Dealing with trauma and fear of trusting others

13 replies

kobacat1981 · 15/02/2022 16:26

Just wondering if anyone else here deals with complex trauma? I grew up kinda always knowing I was different and i was picked on relentlessly the whole way through school and also in various jobs. This really damaged my self esteem and made me trust absolutely nobody.

It's only within the last year and after finally getting a diagnosis that I realise that I'm Autistic and so much makes sense for me. However after being bullied and rejected so many times, I am very afraid of people and have developed agrophobia. I do see a therapist and it is a good support, but it is still not helping me to move forward and address this deep rooted fear I have around people and groups.

When i do make friends, I tend to put my all into things and my last so called friend dumped me horribly after I was going through a tough time. Ever since then I have really gone into my shell and really really don't want to be like this anymore.

Anyone dealt with similar that has found a way through things?

OP posts:

ofwarren · 15/02/2022 17:41

Just bumping for you Flowers


BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 15/02/2022 17:45

I have a really bad background history and I don't trust anyone at all. I don't even engage with people or seek medical help for most things.

I don't have any useful advice really because I'm firmly welded into my shell and I ain't never coming out.


kobacat1981 · 15/02/2022 17:46

@ofwarren thank you Flowers

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation I'm exactly the same, tend to just avoid doctors at all costs now.

OP posts:

Artichokeleaves · 15/02/2022 17:54

May I suggest looking at whether there's a Rhythmic Movement International practitioner anywhere near you? They can teach you some very gentle movements you can use for a few minutes a day that help to reduce the discomfort and stress, and once you know them you can 'treat' yourself whenever you're going through a bad patch. I've found it one of the most helpful things I've tried, and it's not expensive.

You might also like to look at Life After Trauma, a workbook by Dena Rosenbloom, to see if you'd relate to it.


kobacat1981 · 15/02/2022 17:55

@Artichokeleaves that sounds really good, I have a holistic centre near me and I will enquire about this. It sounds like something that would help a lot Flowers

OP posts:

LightfoldEngines · 15/02/2022 17:56

Yep, CPTSD here, ADHD and ASD diagnosed in 2020.

I don’t trust anyone. I bet on myself only. People are fickle and transient at best, abusive at worst.

Can’t be arsed.


Artichokeleaves · 15/02/2022 18:16

If you go here you can search for a consultant in your area Most do other holistic health therapies too, and this is a gentle and supportive one


kobacat1981 · 15/02/2022 19:40

@LightfoldEngines I too have PTSD and can relate a lot. Find I only trust myself these days

@Artichokeleaves thank you so much. I have found 2 people so will make contact with them

OP posts:

knackeredcat · 16/02/2022 08:43

Trauma when young likely exacerbated much of what I now know to be my ADHD. Repeated and prolonged adverse events contributed to what I now know to be CPTSD. Because of both I often feel like a young hypervigilant girl trapped in an adult woman's body and I'm fed up with it. I'm now on a list for an EMDR practitioner who specialises in trauma.

Have any of you had EMDR and if so did it help?


ENoeuf · 16/02/2022 10:01

Oh this is interesting I am sorry you have this op. I think this is also something I have but it’s more a distress at how it’s been, like what a waste.
Last night my young adult dc (still lives here) devastated me by telling me I’m really weird when he has friends over - he constantly refers to me as weird and I feel like my home is no longer a refuge for me. I can’t really cope with this now so not sure where to go with it. So a bit spooky reading your thread. I don’t have any advice as I’m not in any place to offer how to cope!


MaggieMooh · 16/02/2022 12:52

Take up gardening and get a dog. It’s the only way to spend time with living creatures without being bullied or rejected.


Clarice99 · 16/02/2022 12:58

I have a diagnosis of C-PTSD that pre-dates my autism and ADHD diagnoses.

I had lots of therapy for C-PTSD including EMDR which I found really helpful.

I still don't trust people generally, people have to earn trust, just as they have to earn respect, but I'm no longer fearful of people and their motives. And the EMDR was really good for addressing repeated nightmares and flashbacks about childhood and young adulthood traumas that I'd 'buried' and created a 3rd person, which was not healthy!

Thanks to therapy and EMDR, I now accept these things happened to me, that they were not my fault and I bear no shame for who I am and what I have endured. I deserved better.


Clarice99 · 16/02/2022 13:00


Have any of you had EMDR and if so did it help?

Please see my post above. If you have any questions, please ask Smile

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