Facial expressions in autistic people

[ofwarren]

www.spectrumnews.org/news/facial-expressions-between-autistic-and-typical-people-may-be-mismatched/

This article is discussing how our facial expressions don't always match what we are thinking. This has been the bane of my life.

Growing up in was always told to cheer up, "smile, it might never happen", "you would look more attractive if you smiled".

My expression is blank and sometimes must look angry. Even my husband doesn't understand it and thinks I'm annoyed at him 😒

Have you or do you have issues with this?

I have a blank face and always get “cheer up love, it might never happen.” when I’m just going about my business perfectly happily. In my sign language class we were doing emotions and you’re meant to make the emotion with your face alongside the sign. I just couldn’t contest my face into the right positions to do it. I think the teacher was losing patience with me!

@EinsteinVonBrainstorm

I have a blank face and always get “cheer up love, it might never happen.” when I’m just going about my business perfectly happily. In my sign language class we were doing emotions and you’re meant to make the emotion with your face alongside the sign. I just couldn’t contest my face into the right positions to do it. I think the teacher was losing patience with me!

Oh god, I never even considered how lots of autistic people would struggle with sign language! I definitely would!

Autistic ds said he likes wearing a mask to school because it means he doesn’t need to waste time worrying about whether he has got the right facial expression.

I don't think I do, my face generally reflects my mood pretty accurate (zero poker face!) when I'm doing my angry face it's because you deserve it 🤣 but dh (also autistic) will sometimes be looking at me with an angryish face and I will be like are you OK? And he thinks he was smiling or had a neutral one.

I have a problem with my face showing all my emotions, even when I don't want it to! I don't seem to be able to hide my feelings as others do.

Yeah, people always think I'm a stroppy cow when I don't think I have any look at all!

Oh this is interesting! Thanks

I think a lot of us autistics have a scary “resting bitch face”, which NTs think means we are angry/sad/deep in thought/pissed off!
My autistic aunt was always being told to stop frowning as a child.
My autistic DD, when young, often anxiously enquired why I was angry, when my face was simply “in neutral” - she had as much trouble interpreting facial expressions as I had in producing appropriate ones!

I still chuckle at her autistic social skills training group, where the kids were shown a chart of faces, smiling scowling etc.
DD got huge praise for picking out the smiley face correctly - until, asked how she knew, she confidently said she’d memorised it was 4 across and 3 down on the chart…!

@Babdoc that really made me laugh
Clever girl

My husband says I have a resting bitch face. He always misinterprets me as being annoyed with him.

At first I just thought it was his issue but then when I was annoyed that I wasn't making friends I consciously put on a more smiley face when I went to baby groups and I immediately noticed a difference in that people would initiate conversation with me. This was not the case before.

It's annoying as I feel it's a form of masking. It's tiering to do but I enjoy the results so it's worth it....sometimes.

It is masking @yuckypretty but I suppose if you want NT friends and interact then that's what you have to do. You are right that it's exhausting. I don't want to have to check that my face is doing the "right" thing. I really can't be arsed any more.

I wouldn't want NT friends if it meant I had to behave like a performing monkey. I suppose my face looks like a rbf most of the time because I haven't got the energy to adjust it 🙃

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

I wouldn't want NT friends if it meant I had to behave like a performing monkey. I suppose my face looks like a rbf most of the time because I haven't got the energy to adjust it 🙃

Exactly this
It's not fair to expect us to think about the position of our eyes and mouth as well as how to stand where to put our hands, working out when it's your turn to talk, remembering your script AND trying to understand what the person is saying too.
Absolutely exhausting

I know, it's just not worth the effort. They're never grateful anyway 😄

My friends cat died in a really horrific way and I smiled while she was telling me. I'm really really empathetic but I just didn't realise I was still smiling and once she pointed this out I felt awful and distressed but I started laughing because I was overwhelmed and I laugh like a manic when I'm overwhelmed. She didn't speak to me for so long after this and I can't blame her. She won't talk about it years later and I think is still hurt. So yes this is absolutely an issue for me.

I don't think I have rbf I have an issue with constant smiling. I used to be called smiler by a few peers as a child as I just walked around smiling. Even when I'm angry or sad I smile. Its not helpful because I struggle to communicate and get people thinking im a constant positive person but im highly anxious. Dont know of its become a permanent protective mask that I now can't take off or if its lack of understanding or being able to do other facial expressions. Some people must think im crazy

It's so hard to remember how to do things in order to fit in anyway, without trying to arrange your face to suit the situation!

My husband used to ask me way too often 'are you ok?' then follow up saying I look pissed off/sad/tired etc when I was actually nothing of the sort.

Now I just let my face do whatever it wants and if that's 'RBF' or grinning like a maniac, so be it.

Oh goodness, I'm always told to stop frowning or asked if I'm cross / annoyed / angry etc.
Had never really considered this.
Maybe I need botox to stop me looking angry or annoyed a lot 😄

@Namechangeagain84

Oh goodness, I'm always told to stop frowning or asked if I'm cross / annoyed / angry etc. Had never really considered this. Maybe I need botox to stop me looking angry or annoyed a lot 😄

I tried botox when I was about 25 and it made me look worse. Not being able to raise your eyebrows is not good when your face already has little expression.

Yeah I imagine it's not the best look (having your face stuck in one position). Maybe I should just embrace the frowning and ever increasing frown lines 🤔

@ofwarren I find the facial expression part of signing incredibly difficult and awkward. I also struggle with hearing the other people in the group whisper or mouth the words as I can’t deal with mouth noises. Of course, this wouldn’t be a problem if you were actually deaf.

I don’t have an rbf either, my face looks exactly like Wednesday Addams 😂.