Feel like a burden and upset

[JustEnoughCoffee]

I feel as if the more I’ve been open about my issues the more I’ve become a burden in my dh.

He never complains but I feel guilty. At first I tried to mask and over the years it fell away. I had to be honest.

Now i feel as if he has to do more because of my issues and I feel so bad about it. I used to use mn as an outlet and then I tried counselling. But now I’m at the stage in my life where I will say ‘I can’t do this’ Amd be upfront which in some ways is liberating but in others ot just increases his workload and mental load

I hope this makes sense . I feel quite lost.

I'm a carer for my DH. We've had a similar journey where he used to mask as best as he could. I do have to do more but every marriage has its give and take over the years. We're brutally honest with each other and when I truly feel welp that's me needing more support we find it.

I'm also aware that he finds some of my NT ways difficult to live with. I don't feel bad about that but equally he doesn't have to feel bad if I find some of his ASC ways difficult to live with.

He never complains ever I think it’s just me being ultra aware he has to do more somehow and I was made to feel guilty and bad growing up by dm as she had to make allowances and she wasn’t able to without making me fully aware I wasn’t ‘normal’

So I’m probably expecting the same from him when he’s never been unkind

I feel so bad though. So awful that i can’t manage some things

The same happened in my marriage. The older I've got, the harder it is to mask and my executive function has just got worse and worse.
I don't know what the answer is but I totally sympathise.

@ofwarren

The same happened in my marriage. The older I've got, the harder it is to mask and my executive function has just got worse and worse. I don't know what the answer is but I totally sympathise.

I struggle so much with executive function too I have to make all these lists and alarms for stuff I’m totally overwhelmed. It’s like it takes me 100 times more effort to do something organisational compared to a ‘regular’ person for the same task

Yep, my house looks like a bomb has hit it and I hardly get dressed most days. It's so hard

You are suffering from your mum's opinion of you.